Default

So this may be hard to communicate what I'm actually thinking, but I must try anyways.

Something that has kind of been on my mind/bothering me is:
As Christians, what is our default?

For instance:
Be rich or middle class and minister to that group of people or be poor and minister to that group of people?

Take birth control or don't?

Live in a nice safe neighborhood or not (aka. inner city, the country, etc)?

Send kids to public school or home school?

Vote republican or not (aka. democratic, third party, not vote, etc)?

Stay in America or go?

Make money or just don't?

Buy stuff from the grocery store or make my own food, clothing, etc?

Have all my own babies or adopt?

Go to college or not?

I'm not saying what is the right choice in ANY of these. In fact, I think all of these options can be the right choice at any given time.

My question is about our default.

There are certain options we choose automatically as our "default" and THEN we stop, question, pray, and say, should we be doing something different?
And I wonder if our default options look a whole lot more like our society's defaults rather than Jesus' teachings.
I wonder if we can make our defaults look more like a culture of Jesus followers, and THEN we stop, question, pray about if we should do something more like our society.

I guess just some examples I see.... (which could be debated if they actually should be defaults. but i guess its how i see it as of now)....

Birth control:
Obviously, I've come to no affirmative conclusion on this given that I am no where near making that decision. My thought: Why does it seem to be default that Christian couples just take the pill? Why isn't the thought process more like, 'we're getting married knowing that we are to fill the earth. That children are gift from God. And we trust Him to give us that gift whenever--even if we think we're not ready. We trust Him more than our own plans. He knows us better than we know ourselves so lets let him decide the timing....Okay maybe we have extreme circumstances, so we can't have babies right now and God has made that clear, but we're not going to take something that could possibly abort a baby and/or can mess up my body....Okay we have extreme circumstances, and we've really prayed about it. And we've done a lot of research and we think it works for us to take the pill...."
I'm not saying that 'taking the pill' means your not trusting God. Please don't hear me say that. But I just wonder why our default seems to be just to take it. Why isn't our default trusting God more and His ways in family, in children, and just in our own personal relationship with him? I guess I just don't think we should be so quick to do things that "everyone else" just does.

Home schooling:
Why is our default just to sent our kids away to a not-so-good public school system that raises our kids instead of training up our children in the ways of Jesus ourselves? How do we think that parents will be able to influence their kids more than the world if the world gets to spend waaay more time with them than the parents?
Again, not saying home schooling is for everyone. But I think our default should be for parents to raise and teach their children as much as possible and then if its just not gonna work for the parents to do that, through lots of praying and thinking, then of course it's good for whatever else to happen.

Adopting:
Okay its just straight up a command from God to take care of the orphans. I don't know how much more "default"ish you can get from that. Sure, have you own children. But please follow God's very simple command to take care of the orphans. Not saying everyone is suppose to adopt, but i am saying WAY more Christians should be doing so than they are now. Adopting should be a default, unless God makes it very clear that you shouldn't--through LOTS of prayer and community counsel.

How we consume:
I probably could go off on this one way too long. So I'll just say: we put no thought into what we buy, where it came from, what soul made it, how they were treated, how much they were paid, what it took to get that item here, how they item will affect our life, what that item portrays us as. I think the way Christians buy things and the food they eat should look way different than the rest of society. And that is far from true right now it seems. Maybe our default should be to just consume unless we know where all our stuff is coming from. Crazy. I know.

Where we live:
Default--live like Jesus did (with very little, with the poor, with the outcasts, with the sinners).
Should I default be to live in a nice, safe neighborhood with people who are just like us? Or should our default be to live with the poor or with the outcasts? Like we should just automatically do that? And then, through lots of prayer and community counsel, if God makes it clear to us to live somewhere else and minister to another group, THEN we go there. I want that to be default for my kids. I don't want them to think their default is to live in a perfect, safe, surburbia ministering to upper-middle class white folks. I would totally be okay if that's what God calls them to. Really, I would, I promise. But I don't want that to be their default.



I would like to clarify more for fear of offending, but I fear I've gone too long.
I hope this makes some sense.

Be Mustard- part 2

This is just a continuation of my thoughts from the last post. . . they technically together…

“The history of the church has been largely a history of ‘believers’ refusing to believe in the way of the crucified Nazarene and instead giving in to the very temptations he resisted—power, relevancy, spectacle.”

So these days we can support a president and we can worship Jesus at the same time right? I mean, I think so. But I’ve been challenged with that idea. I just don’t know what to do with the fact that one says we must love our enemies and the other says we must kill our enemies (before they kill us or just simply because they are our enemies); one is all about the economics of competition while the other is all about forgiveness of debts. And there are definitely other contradictions such as these.

How can we serve two masters???

This is very perplexing to me and I could surely use some of your thoughts on this.

How do we support this who idea of “ridding the world of evil” by killing our enemies?

What does Jesus think about that?

The way our world is trying to "rid the world of evil" just seems evil to me.

Is Jesus just out of date? Is his world-view and kingdom ideas just out of date?? Does he just not know how the real world works today? I mean, the real world is pretty messed up and evil and the only way it seems like we can fight the horrible, evil things we see around the world is through more evil…but we would never call it evil, because we’re fighting evil....right?

But it seems like Jesus’ first followers knew the same kind of evil—horrible, real world evil. They were burned alive, beheaded, fed to lions, and persecuted in verbal, physical and economic ways. They met evil-doers and terrorists face to face. Yet they did not try to rid the world of evil with more power they way we do, did they?

For Jesus and his followers the question was, ‘how do we live faithfully to God?’

But then..... the church got hold of the kingdom whenever the Roman Empire became ‘Christian.’

And it wasn’t the servant kingdom Jesus talked about—it became about dominance, coercive force, to take charge of the world in the name of ‘justice for all.’

The question for Christians then became, ‘how do we run the world as Christians?’

And we still hear the question today in all spheres of life. How do we make it to ‘the top’ as a Christian and then try to run things?

But this raises another question for me. If Jesus wanted to run the world, couldn’t he have done that? He’s stinkin God. Couldn’t he have taken over this horrible world, taken Caesar’s place, sat on the throne of the Empire of the World, and make everything wonderful?? Couldn’t he have done that? Or even, couldn’t he have put his disciples in positions to do that???
Even Satan offered to make him the ruler of the entire world when he was tempted in the desert. Satan knew how much that would "make sense." He knew how much of a temptation that would be.

So it seems to me that Jesus was not supportive of his followers attempting to “run the world.” Which could also mean, not “ridding the world of evil” like some are trying.

But what IF there happened to be a ‘Christian’ nation that really could “run the world?” Like some are trying....

Nah, still not convinced He would like that.

Jesus told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared. "The owner's servants came to him and said, 'Sir, didn't you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?"
'An enemy did this,' he replied.
"The servants asked him, 'Do you want us to go and pull them up?'
'No,' he answered, 'because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.' "
(mat.13:24)

Do not pull out the weeds. Wait for the harvest. Do not try to rid the world of the weeds/evil through your own ways.
We were never commanded to rid the world of evil.
But we were commanded to love. To make peace. To love our enemies. To be servants. To be apart of an upside-down kingdom.
Do what God commands. Leave the rest to God.
The destruction of evil is not in our hands. It's in Gods.

When you look at the history of Christianity and empires….“it’s hard to walk away with any other conclusion but that the best way to defeat the kingdom of God is to empower the church to rule the world with the sword, for then it becomes the beast it wishes to destroy.

Caesar seemed to be able to do anything in the world. But Caesar could not wash feet.”

We talk about how we go to war to bring peace, right? I mean most people who are in support of a war aren’t saying, ‘War is good cause killing is fun! And it will bring more harm than good! Yay we like harm and bad things!’

People really believe it will bring peace, or, a better good.
And that’s what Rome, the greatest empire (before US???) believed.

Pax Romana! Peace of Rome!

War for peace!

Violence for peace!

Yet, a historian writes, “people feared the peace of Rome because streams of blood and tears of unimaginable proportions followed in the ‘peace.’”

I’m sorry, but that just does not compute in my head.

That just does not sound like the Jesus I follow.

That makes me want to bless some true peacemakers like Jesus talked about.

And when you compare the way the “greatest” empires or nations in the world have and do govern, and then you compare that to Jesus’ Kingdom, you have to look at the cross because that is central to Jesus’ governing tactics and power. I think we could hardly say that the cross looked like some grand political power “reclaiming Israel for God.” It really didn’t seem to do much to claim Israel’s (God’s people) power in the world.

The cross was a humble assertion of power.

It was an upside-down assertion of power.

Instead of ruling through the sword, which most “great” nations and empires seem to do/did, God washed feet to assert and subvert power. He went out non-violently. He took power through having compassion on the worst of the worst. He took power by loving the unlovable. He did not conquer the authorities and government of his time --and they surely were not good and could have used some Jesus authority. He did not make and lead a kingdom they way we know how and they way we truly think is best. Through charisma, power, military, making himself look good, pleasing the crowds.

Upside down.

Take everything you know about how the world works; about how you live your life; about who deserves what; about what makes life good; about how we should treat and love people; about who should be in power; about how we should follow authorities; about how we become whole and complete—

And turn it upside down.

That’s how we follow our Leader’s example.
We start small. Like a mustard seed.

When we are persecuted, ridiculed, and told that we don’t make sense—the kingdom becomes more potent and grows more.

When we love and love is not fulfilled and we are broken—the kingdom grows more.

We do not seek success and power and leadership the way the world does. In fact, you can start by taking the way the world does it, find the opposite of that, and start shooting for that. (it will be hard and it takes a while, so don’t worry—baby steps…at least that’s what I tell myself)

We do not try to redeem people and situations and violence and anger through more violence. (and when you think about it—that’s just really crazy) We turn it around and try another way and follow our leader’s pro-active and very creative examples when it comes to peace.

We take everything we know and we re-examine it. Take all the ways we think about things and re-examine it.

And after examining it.....most of it will probably need to be turned upside down.

(and feel free to have a new found appreciation for Jack johnson's song 'Upside down')

The Deliberate Agrarian

Check this article out I found from a person who's way smarter and cooler than me's blog.

Its definitely worth reading.

Mustard

The blessings of the world through God’s people are not
A violent, quick revolution that takes power

It starts small
It faces set backs
But it
Will
Permeate
The world
With love.

Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.

Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants.

Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. (mat. 13)

About this parable Gerhard Lohfink writes, “Jesus is very aware of the ‘impossibility’ of the cause of God in the world… he depicts not only the unstoppable growth of the reign of God, but also the frightening smallness and hiddennes of its beginning…”

I don’t think Jesus ever said that only he sowed the Word of God. (he IS the Word of God) He was constantly sending people away, telling them to sow the seed of the Kingdom too.

As Claiborne says, its like Jesus keeps saying, “In a distracting, violent, and tempting world, keep sowing the seed of love. Sow it everywhere, even when Herod ['the world' or 'the government'] cuts it down, and even when the world’s riches try to choke it. You never know when it will spring up and make great fruit!”

We must not become discouraged easily.

The disciples just couldn’t get their mind around the way Jesus was saying God’s kingdom should come. They thought it should come quickly, in grand production, in a way the world would be attracted to, through fear and bells and whistles.

But what does Jesus compare the kingdom to?

A. tiny. mustard. seed.

And yeast.

Hmm.

The heart of Jesus’ political imagination:

The kingdom starts small and permeates and transforms the larger world.

Not a political party. Not a political issue. Not through a nation or a few nations. Not a huge church with lots of rich members. Not T.V’s, power points, great music, great books, and captivating talkers. Not through a charismatic leader.

Not. What. You. Would. Think.

Mustard seed

Yeast and mustard where both known for their infectious spreading qualities, but they were not likely metaphors for the greatest of all Kingdoms.

Mustard seeds grew like ca-razy. All over. A wild bush. Took over gardens.

A metaphor about the kingdom being like a giant redwood (the greatest of all trees) would have been received much better by first-century Jews.

“What Jesus had in mind was not a frontal attack on the empires of this world. His revolution was a subtle contagion—one little life, one little hospitality house at a time.”

A persecutor of the early Christians said this: “They form a profane conspiracy infecting the Roman empire and just like a rank growth of weeds….it should at all costs be exterminated, root and branch.”

BUT ironically, when a mustard is crushed, its potency is released.

“Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”

Amen, let us be crushed.

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that is hated me first.”-Jesus

Hmmm, if the world does not hate us, are we really a part of another kingdom?

That is always a good question to ask ourselves, but sometimes I think it can be confusing.
So I have to remind myself who ‘the world’ is, because its not like the whole world is trying to kill me or something. To me, it means that if people who are not following Jesus look at the things I do and say things like,

“Okay, don’t you think you’re going a little overboard?” “Are you part of a cult?” “That’s so great that you’re spending time with those kind of people, but I just couldn’t do that.” “I think that is absolutely stupid and I just can’t believe you’re going to do that.” “Do you expect to make it anywhere in life that way?” “Aren’t you afraid you’re going to get sued?” “You will probably get killed! That is so dangerous!” “That is uncivilized and just stupid.” "But they deserve this!! We must teach them a lesson!"

Those things are definitely said to me on a routine basis, but I’m just starting to dig into this upside-down kingdom so I’m expecting MUCH more than that to come.

Early Christians were NOT TRYING TO OVERTHROW OR EVEN REFORM THE EMPIRE, or government, or leaders of society....whatever you want to call it.

But they were also not going along with it either.

They didn’t try to change the leadership or government-- they made a whole other world, a whole other Rome. Forget reforming that which we can all admit is crap, lets believe and be apart of another world and offer it to the dissatisfied people.

We need people who believe so much in another world that they cannot help but enact it.
That’s what a true believer is—a convert. Their minds and imaginations are renewed, made different—and they can not do the things the rest of the world is doing anymore. They think about things so much differently that the world thinks things like, 'that's crazy' a.k.a. 'thats upside-down.' Even the subtle things that no one seems to talk about changes for the convert, not just those "big moral" things. Everything changes.

God bless America….hmmmm….

“So often we do things that make sense to us and ask God to bless our actions and come alongside our plans, rather than looking at the things God promises to bless and acting alongside of them.”

And what does God promise to bless?
When we are with the poor
The merciful
The hungry
The persecuted
The peacemakers.

What if we stop doing things just because they definitely work in our head and then praying that God will make good things come from it and instead just start doing the things God already promised us that good things will come from—even when those things seem completely unreasonable and upside-down in our minds???

Technology has advanced and grown incredibly, people are growing exponentially, more and better weapons, more and better business…..yet our spirituality and morality has not advanced. Out hearts are the same as thousands of years ago.

Can we handle the power?

James 5

“The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty.”

My community (church) is studying the book of James right now. And it’s wonderful.

I just read this line in a book I’m reading for the second time and this time it popped out at me even more since my eyes are peeled for James. The book quotes that verse above.

Then the author goes on with his interpretation. . .

“This isn’t simply about fairly paying the immigrants who mow our lawns (or the many other things immigrants and the working-poor do for too cheap): it’s about the way our world’s economy drains wealth from the poor up to the rich. And we are all part of it.

But the god of money (whom, let’s face it, we all serve because we all want money) calls out,

‘How could we buy cheap shirts (and other cute clothes from Target, etc.) without the sweatshops of Honduras?

How could we get cheap fast food without the migrant tomato farmers in Florida?’

God hears the workers’ groaning.

God’s gift of the earth itself is at stake too.

‘You cannot know that life is holy if you are content to live from economic practices that daily destroy life and diminish its possibility.

But if we are to maintain any sense or coherence or meaning in our lives, we cannot tolerate the present utter disconnection between religion and economy.’”

What does all this mean for me?

Well this tiny segment is part of a whole picture that God is teaching me about NOT being a consumer. Not just being a “wise shopper,” but literally figuring out how I can consume less and less, so that I can stop supporting an economy I don’t agree with. And stop supporting corporations that are living out unfair practices with their workers.

I do find it very hard to not consume. But, I can stop buying clothes, unless they are completely worn out and falling off me. Let’s be honest, I have plenty of clothes to last me a while. (Keep in mind, I am not holding my clothes selection up to the normal standards)

I can choose my food wisely and try to eat at home as much as possible.

I can let go of my desire for a nice SLR camera so that I can REALLY take quality pictures.

I can let go of my desire for a better computer, cell phone, ipod, and other electronics.

I can borrow books. (this one is REALLY tough for me. . .and I’m not totally convinced that not buying books will effect the economy greatly, but I know it will somehow)

I haven’t officially decided if this is crazy or not but my friend (who is similar to me in socio demographics) goes “dumpster diving” sometimes. And I know that sounds just straight up stupid, but tell me what sounds more crazy: throwing out loaves of bread that were baked that day or the day before and plenty of other fruits, veggies, and other foods that are completely edible, safe, and good--throwing that food out when others are starving……… OR going to the back of a restaurant or store and getting that food and eating it and sharing it with others! And saving money so that you may share that with others!

Which one sounds crazy??

Continuing on….I can consolidate my wardrobe to much less (even if it looks like I’m wearing the same clothes way too often) and give the abundance to others and do the same with all the other gidgets and gadgets and this and that around my room.

I mean I could keep going, but I think you get the picture for me life.

Oh and also, it means a few more things for me:

Advocating (in lots of informal and formal ways) for the worker who is getting unfair wages; using my blessings of status, power, and prestige to bring others more of that.

Starting a garden as soon as I possibly can…..uhg I want to do this so bad.

Learning how to sew as soon as I possibly can (this is more of a dream, than anything close to reality right now)

And if I am ever in a position of employing workers or just leading over people, doing it fairly in every way possible.

The book doesn’t quote James 5:5, but I’m going to…

“You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.”

Man…..that’s intense. We don’t know if James is talking to Christians are non-Christians in that passage, but we do know that he starts the passage with, “Now listen you rich people…”

If you are reading this blog right now, I can almost guarantee you that you are rich, just in case you were wondering.

Anyways….that verse just really gets me. If that does not feel like daggers coming right at you, I don’t know what does. I live in luxury every single day. I live in self-indulgence pretty often. I have everything I need and almost everything I could even want. I am being fattened physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually daily….while others are dying in war….while others are dying of starvation…..while others are being slaughtered by their own people....and on and on…..

No, I may not be the exact people that James was speaking to, but either way, I can not read those words, knowing my place in the world’s society, and not feel conviction and a desire to change something in my life that may bring even a slight bit of equality to the world. If I can simply not live in luxury; if I can simply stop fattening myself in all areas, I can still live well, so that others can live better.

'Locavorism'= Kingdom building

Read this PLEASE:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24994028/

I never read much news, but this article popped up at me at work and who is going to pass up the oppurtunity to read a good article instead of doing a mindless job???

The topics discussed in this article represent just another part of this journey our King is taking me on. This stuff has really been on my heart and I'm trying to take baby-steps to living it out....but I can get frustrated sometimes cause I wish I had more encouragement from people around me in ways to change my lifestyle and live this out.

And this article just touches on some things--its not the whole picture at all of food, creation, globalization, local growing, processed food, consumerism, being more in tune with another part of who we are--the earth.

We are so much apart of the "empire"/ "kingdom" of America that is in stark contrast to the ways of His Kingdom on earth and one of those ways is the way we consume in general, and particularly, food. This article does not paint it in a easy or idealistic way either. They admit that it is very hard because of the lifestyle we are used to. And I admit that it is very hard and sometimes it seems impossible to get to the place I would like to be in this context.

But I still believe that we are missing a part of the abundant life/Kingdom that God intends for us by consuming the way our empire tells us to (which we are mainly unaware of altogether) and being so extrememly seperated physically and spiritually from the food we put into our bodies which are "temples," so says Jesus.

And I want more of that abundant life that He offers. And I want less of what American society tells me easy and helpful and civilized and full. Because I don't believe that anymore.

Truth and Trash

One of the elders at my church said something about how he searches for Truth in the dumpster. . . or he’s not afraid to search for truth in the dumpster. . . either way. . . I liked it, it stuck with me, and I’ll explain why. . .

It’s really easy to become completely in love with a certain person (author, musician, pastor, actor, politician, etc) or a certain movement. Ya know, everyone wants to be ALL ABOUT something. We long to find a cause or an idea or a movement that we can say, “yes, that’s what I’m all about! That’s all truth! I want to represent that!”

Because that feels good! It makes us feel purposeful! It gives us meaning!

We are wired for that as humans.

And it’s great. Cause there is one thing (person/movement) we should be ALL ABOUT.

But when it comes to people we follow though we must be careful. This is something I’ve noticed in myself that God has really been working on in this season of life. . .

I read a book or listen to sermons or hear stories about a person, and I agree with everything I hear, and so it’s easy to think that I agree with everything that person is about and everything they’ve ever said and I get all excited about that person and proclaim his/her greatness to the world. (and it is a wonderful and edifying thing to do—to talk about how great people are, so ill keep that part) And I hear other people doing this as well. And its okay but I just want to start making sure that I realize that this person has faults and if I dig into everything this person thinks, writes, speaks about, and does I probably won’t agree with all of it. So I probably shouldn’t act like I’m ALL ABOUT that person as if I truly know him/her.

I want to take the truth and leave the trash.

I want to be able to dig into people (a few examples: Rob bell, shane Claiborne, mark driscoll, matt chandler, mother teresa) and find the things that they are saying that are true (meaning: they line up with Jesus) and leave the stuff that’s trash. I want to be able to read books that many people think is very controversial and dig through the trash to find the truth. I want to be able to read the books that everyone thinks is wonderful and say, ‘hmm I think this is actually trash, cause it actually doesn’t line up with Jesus, no matter what others say.’

If I start listening to someone who is “right on” with everything, I want to remind myself that there is probably something that is not “right on” with them and maybe I’m just getting caught up in how great the words sound or something of that nature. Maybe I need to keep my eyes open for something that could be trash. Now, this doesn’t mean I become cynical and doubtful of everything and everyone. It just means I take people for what they are—human. And I test everything to see if it falls under the one thing I am ALL ABOUT.

And I want to also be careful about not making a particular person sound like they are ‘perfect’ when I talk about them, and making them out to be something they can’t live up to. I think we do that a lot when we become ALL ABOUT someone or something.

The same stuff happens with ‘movements’ or ‘ideas’ or ‘causes.’ Some examples: the emergent church, women’s rights or feminism, fair trade, certain styles of doing church, political issues, and such.

Hear me say that there is nothing wrong with being pro or anti any of those things and anything else you can add to that list. If you know me, you can probably name lots of “issues,” “causes,” and even “movements” that I support. I just think that we need to be careful about how much we put into those things for fear that it could start defining you and your faith. Or that you may become blinded to seeing the flaws in it. Just like with people, all movements and causes probably have some truth and trash in it. There are many things within the Emergent movement that is awesome and I recognize it as truth because its part of Jesus’ movement (the one thing we should be ALL ABOUT), but there are some things that I’m gonna leave behind as trash, so therefore I can’t completely identify with it. I support women being treated fairly and beautifully and equally worthy as the rest of the world because that is part of Jesus’ movement, but I am not pro-More-power-for-women-over-men, or pro-focusing on one gender over another. I could keep going with other things, but I think you get what I’m saying.

Most of this is probably more directed towards people in my age range—and mainly to myself. I just want us to be constantly aware that we are young, naïve, and have much more to learn. Therefore we should be weary about jumping 100% on board with any person, cause, or movement. I think we should be weary of labels too. Like, labeling ourselves as something. I mean, that’s a thin line because a lot of times our faith can be lived out through labels—but I argue that there are very few of those labels.

I’m also NOT pro- banning certain books, movies, or people and labeling them as 100% trash. I think its okay to look into all things WITH MUCH CAUTION (and always with wise counsel,) whether they are labeled truth or trash and find the truth in there. Claim that truth as part of Jesus’ movement (since that’s where all truth comes from) and discard the rest.

Find things that line up with your faith and passions and be for that, IF it’s part of the Jesus’ movement, but make sure you separate the truth from the trash within that thing. Because anything that is formed by people is not going to be perfect. It might have just .00001% trash, but it’s got some in there somewhere.

Do we need a savior?

“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.” Galatians 1:6-7

Who needs a Creator when we can sculpt the mountains?

Who needs a Great Physician when we can heal ourselves?

Who needs Providence for food when we can clone animals for food?

Who needs a Savior when we have a four hundred billion dollar defense shield?

Who needs a Deliverer when the empire has become a democracy?

Who needs a God when we are worthy of worship ourselves?

“For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man.” Romans 1:21-23

This is an exert from the book Jesus for President. Do with it what you will.

For me, it makes me question if I am truly depending on my God. (answer: no, not completely at all)

It makes me understand why it is so hard for true Christianity to take root here in America.

It makes me think that we really don’t know what is means to follow the God of creation and the Jesus who told us to claim a different empire/president/economy/culture and to not do what the world does.

(usual disclaimer: I’m not saying mt rushmore, medicine, science, or democracy are bad things. There is beauty within them all. I’m just proving a point…actually, I’m sharing a point that someone else made.)

How do we sit?

(Before I start, please know that this is not meant as a “what the heck is wrong with you?! Everybody needs to sell everything they have and move to Africa!” blog. I trust that if you’re following Jesus, you have the Spirit that’s guiding your life. I really do trust that. This is meant to simply be a blog of Juliette’s questions and thoughts of life that deeply perplex her and it feels better to share them….)

How?

“There is a garbage dump about 15 minutes from the orphanage facility. The orphanage started a program to go and pick up children who live in the garbage dump to come and receive food and go to school. At the end of the day the kids are dropped by off at the dump to be with their families because they have to help their families earn a living as well. As of right now about 115 kids are picked up every day.”

How can we just sit at home and keep doing our daily life when we hear about things like this?

Or the devastation in Myanmar, where so many children are left as orphans who have watched their house and family be destroyed….

Or how do we hear about women and children who are being tortured and raped and stripped of dignity, love, and identity this very minute that you are reading this blog throughout the world in the sex trafficking industry…..

You know I could keep going ALL day long on this list about children that are forced to enjoy killing as soldiers, people that are stripped of all humanness through physical things that go deeper into the mind and soul, and about people that truly don’t eat for days at a time so no wonder they can’t ALWAYS think or reason very well and we see so much fighting and mayhem in those areas. (and part of me wants to keep going cause its just so heavy on my heart, but I think this will already be a full blown “Debbie-downer” post).

And I could go much deeper on what these external cracks in humanity are doing to the internal thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and souls of each and every one of those people.

Deep, deep, deep wounds. How can they ever recover?

Again we ask, how can we just sit at home and keep doing our daily life when we hear about things like this?

I feel like we, as middle-class American followers of Jesus’ Way, truly do ask this question a lot. And it breaks our hearts. Literally.

And then the craziness of life distracts us and we move on until we are forced to face it again by a story from a friend or the news or something we read. And the cycle continues.

Sometimes my whole body hurts because I hate, literally hate, that I am sitting here right now living this extremely comfortable life, that I didn’t ask for, and some girl in Turkey has already lost all womanhood and worth that she ever had and is presently being forced to act like she enjoys having sex with a stranger. . . and now she may have even convinced herself that its not so bad; that this is what life is about; that sex is nothing and she is nothing….. and she will continue in this life because there is no way out and all she can do is think about her children at home……and she didn’t ask for that life either.

And it is simply and completely unfair. And it enrages me.

Why can’t I take some of her pain? Why can’t the suffering be spread out? And why why why am I still sitting here?

(“answer”: because this is the place God has me right now and I need to be grateful about the blessings he’s poured out on me and I need to get an education so I can go and help people in those kinds of situations because without an education I can’t do as much good—blablabla, you know the drill) (p.s. I get tired of the drill sometimes)

I don’t care how much God is working on me right now and getting through my own darkness and wounds. I know I’m supposed to be focusing on making me whole right now, so that I can fully and wholly pour out to others, but seriously. . . .i mean seriously, when you compare my crap to others around the world, I’m sorry but it is TOO hard to have to sit here and say “let’s fix me” when I could be helping to “fix” those who’s wounds seem MUCH deeper in quality and quantity.

And I know its all equal in the big picture and I know there are different seasons of life and all those other valid points that we use to get us through these moments, but I guess all I’m trying to get at is

I want my life to be about those people.

Now and forever.

I can’t start in the full capacity that I want to right now.

All I can do is hope for a year or two from now when I can make it my 24/7 life.

And I can do what I can here and now.

Don’t get me wrong, I really am trying to live in the here and now. And I’m not just waiting to “do something” or “be about something” in the future. That is a ridiculous college student thought that I got rid of a long time ago.

I’m trying to truly BE with those that are the most broken that I find in Bryan. But honestly, I know I’m not living it out how I want to be.

And let’s not get all idealistic and silly and say, ok now I’m just gonna go live in the ghetto in Bryan and become BFF with some homeless peeps and take care of some orphans and whoooooooooooooo I’ll feel sooooooooo good about myself. And they’ll know Jesus and everything will work out great!

Its. Really. Stinkin. Hard. To. Do. That.

I mean really do that--not just go and hang out with people once a week and give them some material things.

It’s. Hard. Hard. Hard. Hard. To truly be that culturall- appropriate love and transformation that they need.

(But that’s not gonna keep me from trying, in whatever ways possible.)

Back to my original question: how can we sit here and go about our daily, extremely comfortable lives after actually taking notice of, not just groups, but an actual real person, just like you, who is living in complete darkness that we just can’t even try to conceive???

Like even if we try to put ourselves in their position, we’re still missing so much.

I ask myself this. . . and the only answer I have for now is. . .

“One year, Juliette, and you get a job with a non-profit or mission agency and you go to the hardest places and do whatever culturally wise people tell you to do. And you live like the people there. And talk to them. And you learn things that can assist them. And you love, love, love them. And you cry with them. And then you think to yourself, ‘am I helping them at all? It’s just too messed up to actually make a difference. There’s still so much brokenness.’ But then you think, ‘at least I’m doing something. At least I’m being with them. At least I can share a glimmer of hope and love with them….and then one day, hopefully, Juliette, you can adopt children out of these completely broken places and save them from a dark, dark future. And you can be with them, train them, love them, intensely and intimately day after day after day.”

(clarification: when I say “dark places” I mean dark places in America, not just “third world countries.” And I mean dark places that don’t obviously appear as dark places.)

And for now, I take baby-steps (wish they were bigger) to finding and being with the most broken in our city, while I juggle the rest of life that God has told me to do and be.

It’s hard. SO hard to figure out whats the best thing to be doing. How to really get real with these people. But I’ll keep trying. (if you’re reading this, please don’t ever let me stop trying. You are now accountable to me and my life by simply reading this, whether you like it or not.)

And I prepare and learn about the brokenness (all kinds of brokenness) and the cultures that produced the brokenness and ways to counsel brokenness.

I learn how to do this by digging through my own brokenness and wounds; by being around homeless in Bryan who are stinkin crazy and so different from me, but at least I’m around them and learning about him/her; by being around people of different races, different journeys through life, different economic statuses—just straight up different. I learn. I go down the slow process.

And times like tonight, I say to God: “Daddy, I don’t know what to do. I really don’t know how to teach these kids about the abundant life you have for them right now, not when they die. I am ill-equipped. I don’t know how to relate to homeless people who are SO different than me. I don’t know how to change the way they think and treat people. I feel useless. I literally don’t know how. But You do. And I will wait for you to tell me and move in me. I will keep going even thought I feel useless and confused. And I will trust that you will do something or show me something. Because it doesn’t matter what I think I know, it only matters that I have you who knows ALL.”

I have my answer, and that is the only answer I am responsible for and need to think about. But I can’t help but wonder how my other brothers and sisters that follow Jesus answer that question. I don’t doubt that this kind of stuff really breaks them. . . but what do they do with that brokenness? I know every one is made different for different things. I really do know that. But if we follow Jesus aren’t we supposed to go where he went and be with who he was with? (dark places with really broken people)

How how how how can we be so complacent? Why why why do we believe so many excuses?
(pardon me: that was my outrage at the world that just broke out, no one in particular)

(you may notice that I have not even touched on the people who really are not broken when they hear about the tragedies of their fellow humans that, whether they like it or not, they are deeply connected to in ways they are not even aware of; the people that hear about these things and think ‘oh my goodness, that’s terrible! Man, this world is sad.’ End thought. Continue on with their life. I am not touching on them, because I can not even fathom that. It is beyond me; it does not fit into the way God created my personality and my passions. But I know there are things that are messed up about me that other people can not understand. So I don’t know what to do about that.)

What started this train of thoughts is the simple fact that I just can’t handle being so “blessed” in the ways that I am blessed. I HAVE to share my blessings. I have to use them. I have to move with them. I have to, have to, have to share them!

And, I could be wrong, but I feel like that’s the purpose of blessings. You get blessed financially, intellectually, with lots of love, with lots of things for a house, with lots of clothes, with an education, with forgiveness—and you share it with others?

Disclaimer: It is my true prayer that this does not come off as judgmental. These are my honest questions about the world and the human population and how we deal with things. I do not think I am better than others because of the fact that this stuff really breaks me and shuts me down to the point that I want my entire life to be about this. Because the fact is, I didn’t come up with those thoughts or feelings. I didn’t choose to think or feel this way anymore than I chose to have this middle-class American girl life I have. He gave my life, feelings, and thoughts to me, and I am grateful...I guess maybe I choose what I do with all of it??