Beaux's Birth Story

            

Beaux was due on June 27th. He waited the longest of my babies to come into the world. He was also the biggest, but I think that may have been the case no matter when he came. For the second half of pregnancy, when Toni (my midwife) would measure and feel my uterus, she said things like “There is a lot of baby in here!” and “I think this may be your biggest.” That didn’t take much because my biggest thus far was Jack at 7 lbs 2 oz. Jack was 8 days late and still only came because I took castor oil, so who knows how late he would have been naturally! 

For the last few weeks before Beaux came, I was having more “labor-like” contractions about the time I would go to bed many nights. Its normal for me to have a lot of braxton-hicks since the second trimester, but these were a little different than the normal braxton-hicks. Not painful, just more “labor-like.” So I figured one of those nights the contractions would get gradually more intense and turn into real labor in the middle of the night. Labor had started at midnight with Eden. I had awoken at 2:00am with Evangeline having the very beginning of labor contractions. I didn’t really want to have a night time labor because I was SOO exhausted at the end of each day. I didn’t know how I would have energy, but I just assumed thats what would happen. 

I knew I would be late, so I was a host for a couples shower on my due date. That was a nice distraction. On the 4th of July, I was disappointed he had not come. I hadn’t had those ‘night-time’ contractions in a few nights, but that night I had a lot and they were more intense so I thought, “this could be it!” But it turns out, it was just a full moon that brought on contractions, but they were not enough to bring on real labor. The mind-games were getting more intense on July 5th. I was doing all the things during the day to induce labor (except for castor oil), and nothing was working. I thought for sure those night-time contractions would come back Sunday night and I was ready to do whatever I could to keep them coming on instead of sleeping them off. But they did not come. On Monday, the 6th, I had a midwife appointment. I asked her to check my cervix and swipe my membranes. (She does not normally do these things, unless I ask her to.) She also had me do an inversion on the couch and they had me get on my hands and knees to do the rebozo technique—she used a very large scarf-like fabric  to use controlled motions to help move the hips, or sway them from side to side a little bit. This was to help the baby get into the best birthing position in case that was an issue. I don’t think he was in a bad position (my babies have all been head-down, very low, ready-to-go from early on) but who knew—anything that might bring contractions on was welcomed! When she checked me, I was only 2-3 cm and in an anterior position. I knew this didn’t really mean anything as for when labor would begin. 

I was doing all the things to naturally induce labor like daily walks, daily swimming, pelvic rocks and other positions like that, using the birthing ball, clary sage essential oil, nipple stimulation, dates, pineapple, and probably others I’m forgetting.

On the morning of July 8th, I woke up around 2;55am with some light contractions and needing to poop. I took 2 doses of a tincture my midwife had given me called Black & Blue, about 20 minutes apart. I also put Clary Sage on. When my labor with Evangline had stalled out, Toni gave me B&B and it immediately put me into active labor, and baby was born 3 hours later. I had asked her on Monday if that could be effective to get labor going and she said it doesn’t really work that way. But if contractions started coming on, I could try taking it to see if it helps to keep things going. She normally only has women do that when she it there with them, but she felt like it was okay for me to do in this situation. 

I started having contractions that I had to intentionally breath through around 3:30am. They were every 8-10 minutes apart for about 1 minute. I would fall asleep in between them. 

At 6:00am, the contractions were the same intensity but not as long or as frequent. I took another round of B&B at 6:50—4 doses every 5 minutes—and clary sage. But it didn’t work. At 7:55am, contractions seemed to have really slowed down, so I knew I needed to move. I went on a long walk. I had some contractions on the walk but they were not regular— 5 min, 7 min, 11 min, 8 minutes apart. I came home and kept moving in the kitchen—cutting up fruit and such. My mom was in town so she had the kids occupied, thankfully. I would have to lean on the counter during contractions, but then I just kept going like normal after they passed. They began getting closer together and at 10:00am they were more consistently 5 minutes apart, about a minute long, and “real” in intensity. I had to lay down on the couch at this point. I was voxering with friends and trying to stay distracted. I knew I was likely in labor, but it was hard for my mind to fully accept it because I had had so many times were I thought maybe labor was beginning over the last few weeks, and it was nothing. Also, I had stalled out during the day with Evangeline’s labor, so I was nervous that could happen at any point. 

I texted my midwife at this point and gave her the update. The birth center is very close to my house, so she came over to check things out because I told her that would be helpful. Adam was working from home, in and out of the house. My mom and the kids were in and out of the house, doing normal things. 

Toni got there at 11:15ish and checked me. I was 6-7 cm. She said, “we could have this baby in an hour.” I was a little shocked. She asked Adam if he was going to get the pool ready and he was like, “well we weren’t sure if it was time for that.” She said, “If a water birth is important to Juliette, it is time.” So he got busy! Jessica, my sister-in-law and birth photographer, got over here and started setting things up. The midwife assistants came and started setting up. My mother-in-law came over at some point to help with kids. 

It was a very strange/different labor for me in the sense that I never went into “labor-zone” mentally (where I’m totally out-of-it) and my contractions never came one on top of another. The contractions got to be very intense, but as soon as they were over, I was fairly normal, talking, and coherent. Eden, Jack, and Evangeline had their Big sister/brother shirts and capes on and they were helping blow up the pool and fill it with water. They were in and out of my room, like it was a normal day. Evangeline thought she was about to go swimming in my bedroom.

The pool was ready, so Toni checked me once more before I got in. At 12:20 pm, I was 9cm, had an anterior lip, and the bag was bulging. She said they were just waiting for me to feel the urge to push. I got in the pool around 12:22pm. It always feels wonderful getting in there. Contractions definitely slowed down then. It was weird sitting there in silence with everyone just waiting around for me  to need to push and feeling so coherent. After a while, I started to doubt I would know when to push. When a contraction did come, I felt some pressure in my butt which has usually been the sign of pushing, but it wasn’t the uncontrollable kind. And this labor had felt so different, so I was getting nervous. I asked Toni about that and she just said something about how I will know. I then asked if I should maybe move around, because contractions were not coming and I was getting impatient. Here I was at 9 cm, sitting in a birthing pool with a bunch of people waiting for me to push and nothing was happening. I began to lean forward to get on my hands and knees, and just that slightest movement brought on an intense contraction and I could really feel the baby moving. I did not move anymore after that! 

At 12:53, I started to push. I don’t think I had the uncontrollable need to push, like in the past. I felt some sort of urge and I just went with it and chose to push, because I was ready for him to come out! (In the past, I would not have described it as a choice. It just happened. Perhaps this was different because this was my 4th time and I was very familiar with the feeling and felt more in control). At 12:56, he was crowning and at 12:59, he was born! 

Obviously 6 minutes of pushing is ridiculously short and I am very thankful for that! My pushing stage got shorter and shorter each birth, with the longest only being 20 minutes, so I am extremely grateful. This pushing stage felt very different though. (Again, part of it was probably because I was more aware of exactly what was happening than in the past). The pauses in between contractions felt much longer than in the past and I didn’t know what to do with the fact that I could feel him crowning but wasn’t having a contraction to push with, and I felt completely coherent and ready to push him out. I think in the past, the pauses were welcomed because I was so exhausted and out-of-it. I was scared the pauses would be too long, since they had been like that the whole time I was in the pool, and I was nervous about the baby just sitting in the birth canal like that. Then, only half his head came out and I was not having a contraction to push with. This was excruciating. And a little scary. And then I said aloud, “It feels like he’s moving—like he’s trying to crawl out or something!” Turns out, he was probably just rotating. I think I pushed without a contraction and got his head out. I screamed at a few points and also expressed some fear about his head sitting like that and not having a contraction. I think the kids were a little scared/nervous about this. Eden covered her ears at one point from my screaming and Mimi was holding her close. Evangeline was not in the room, but Jack and Eden were straight in front of me, watching Beaux come out. 

At one point, Toni said something like, “Lets stop making those noises and just push the baby out” which is exactly what I needed to hear! I needed to take those high pitched noises and move them down, like I had been doing earlier. I believe I did that really well with Evangeline and Jack’s pushing stage, so I wish the kids could have seen one of those! It wasn’t as worrisome. But, this one was only 6 minutes, so that’s nice! Toni thinks the main reason that this pushing felt different for me was because Beaux was so much bigger than my others. 

I saw his face immediately when they lifted him to my chest and my very first thought was, “Wow, that’s a boy!” He looked like such a little man. Little did everyone know, Adam, the kids, and I already knew he was a boy. We had actually found out about 7 weeks before he was born because Eden really wanted to find out, but we kept it a secret from the family. 

I had more bleeding than the last 2 births because the placenta separated early and it was a very large placenta. I felt pretty weak and extremely tired for a while, I think, because of the bleeding and also because I hadn’t eaten since 7:00am and didn’t eat till about 5:00pm. I did drink a home made laborade throughout labor and that was helpful. 

I was really hoping for a day-labor and I guess I got it! Even though beginning labor started in the middle of the night, I still got some rest at least.  I loved that the kids got to be a part of the labor. Eden had said that she wanted to be around for the labor to help with things but she wasn’t sure she wanted to see me push the baby out because she was a little scared of seeing me like that. Jack didn’t seem to know what he wanted. If I had the baby at night, I had planned to wake Eden up at some point but wasn’t really sure how it would work out. Everyone kept asking me what I was going to do with the kids for the labor and I just kept saying, “I don’t know. We’ll just see how it works out!” And it worked out perfectly! They got to help and see me in labor and then they actually had a front row seat to seeing Beaux enter the world! I’ve been a little worried I may have scarred them because I did scream a bit when pushing him out, and his head just sat there, half way out of me for a minute, but so far, they seem great with it all and Eden says she wants to be a midwife when she grows up. 

Beaux Barry Bechtold was born on 7/8/20 at 12:59pm. He was 8 lb. 4 oz. and 20.5 in. My biggest baby by more than a pound!

I am so incredibly grateful that Toni got to deliver all 4 of my babies. Her expertise, wisdom, and presence is such a gift to our family. I am also so incredibly thankful that Jessica got to be there for all 4 births and document it all on photo and video. I can’t imagine not having these gifts (and her support)! I am so thankful my mom and my mother in law were here for the birth and could help with the kids, otherwise that would have been a true circus! And of course none of this could have happened without Adam, literally nothing! ;) It took 4 births, but we finally got the pool set up without any hitches. He is really a pro at this whole birth thing now. He got the pool set up quickly, he was there for me physically when I needed him, he encouraged me and massaged my back when I needed it, reminded me what I needed to do during pushing, and was truly everything I needed! We have actually joked about him starting a business selling all the things needed for a home water birth because he knows all the random things your need that you wouldn’t think of until you’ve done this several times. 

I’m not kidding at all when I say I feel like I have won the jackpot. What more could I ask for in this life? I really don’t know why, but Jesus has blessed me beyond my understanding and I am immensely grateful. 

Beaux BARRY's namesake

Evangeline's Birth Story

Evangeline Belle was born 6 days “past due” on April 16. I was 4 days late with Eden and 8 days late with Jack (induced by castor oil) so I was not expecting her for a few more days. On Sunday, April 15th, I began putting Clary Sage essential oil on my abdomen, feet, and ankles. This is supposed to encourage labor to begin but I knew that none of these things would work unless my body was ready. I wasn’t desperate for her to come, but I was ready to move in that direction. I also ate a whole bunch of pineapple that afternoon. This was not an abnormal thing, though, because I had been eating lots of pineapple to increase my circulation (I had carpel tunnel). I may have had a tad more than usual, but not much. I felt crampy that afternoon and evening, which was different than what I had been feeling, so I thought this *could* mean something, but who knows?!

I awoke to a contraction at 1:30am but was able to go back to sleep until I awoke to another around 2:50am. These felt like real, light labor contractions to me. Not Braxton Hicks. I got up to go to the bathroom and I had a bowel movement, which is quite abnormal at 3:00am in the morning. =) I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn’t because I began having contractions every 5 minutes. They were not intense, but felt like the beginning. After 45 minutes of this, I texted my midwife, who just happened to be 5 minutes away, and she said she would head over. I woke Adam up and said we should start getting things ready. My previous 2 labors progressed really quickly so even though I didn’t feel like I was in active labor, I knew that could switch at any moment. My midwife was only there for 1 hour of my labor with Eden because it progressed so quickly. This felt like it could move in the same direction, so I thought, “It’s better to be safe than sorry.“

The midwife team came and got everything set up and I started making my laborade. Around 4:00am, I was between 4-5cm. After my midwife checked me, I bled and lost some stuff that I guess was my mucus plug. As I was up and moving around, my contractions came closer together but with not as much intensity. Eventually, they began slowing down. At 6:30am, I decided to rest because things were slowing down, I was SUPER tired, and my kids would be waking up soon, so I figured now was the time to rest. When I did that, contractions stopped altogether. Weird, very weird. (for me)

Around 9:00am I finally decided to try and get things moving myself. I put more Clary Sage on. I bounced on the birthing ball and did nipple stimulation. That brought on hard contractions but as soon as I stopped, the contractions would taper off. We went for a walk and that didn’t make anything progress either. But I was SO exhausted that I had to lay down again. 

At 12:20 I did the oils, ball, and nipple stimulation again. Same thing happened. I did keep having contractions, but it wasn’t really “moving forward.” 

Toni, my midwife, came to our house around 2:30 to check on things. She said that it was possible I was not actually in labor. So, we could just wait for it to start naturally, which would probably in the next day or two, or we could do *all the things* to get things moving. She had been up the entire night before so she wanted to go home and sleep, or have this baby. Adam and I did not like the idea of waiting around when we were already in full blown labor-zone. She had not checked me at this point so I had her do that. I was 5.5-6 cm. This meant that things WERE progressing, just slowly. Toni said she was not going home (a 45-minute drive) at this point. So we decided—let’s do what we can to get this baby out! 

Toni had a tincture called B&B that is supposed encourage labor, but it doesn’t always work for every woman. She gave me 4 doses (at 3:00pm) and we were in business! I had been having sporadic contractions—15 minutes apart, 2 minutes, 5 minutes, 13 minutes, with varying intensity. But upon taking the tincture, contractions were much closer together and much more intense. Just to make sure we were on the right track, I got my breast pump out and tried a more intense nipple stimulation. I lasted 2 minutes before throwing those pumps away from me because contractions were so hard and intense! By 4:00pm, there was no relief or rest and contractions were very close together and very intense.

When these 2 woke up in the morning, Adam told them we 

were going to have the baby today so they wanted to wear these shirts.

The tincture that made it all happen!

At some point in all of this intensity, one of the midwives suggested I get in a position where my bottom was up and my head was down. The idea was that perhaps the baby was not in an ideal position and that‘s why labor had been so weird. So I tried that for maybe 10 minutes but stopped when a contraction came on. Later on, she asked if I felt like it helped, and i’m not really sure. I didn’t feel any big movement, but it’s possible it helped in a way I don’t know. When I was laboring in bed, the best position, in all 3 labors, has been laying on my side with my legs stacked on top of each other evenly. But I remembered during Jack’s labor, around transition, they told me to open my legs more to encourage him to move down. That position helped, and I felt like it was a better position, though very difficult. So I was trying to figure out what to do with my legs and one of the midwives suggested I keep the bottom leg straight and bring the top knee up towards my chest, resting on a pillow. Even though I had to fight the urge to keep my legs together, this definitely seemed like the better position for labor and movement of baby. 

From about 3:30pm till 5:40ish, I was mostly laboring in bed, as labor was intense, painful, and difficult. I was pretty much in my own world. Adam was doing various things, checking on me periodically and then getting the birth pool filled with water. The midwives kept checking the heartbeat. My kids were next door at my mom’s house all day, but came home at some point during this part, along with my mom. My in-laws were there as well—caring for the kids, getting some dinner, and helping with “the birthing pool situation.” Thankfully I have a big house that allows for all of this to be happening while I am ”blissfuly” unaware. =)

Our little helper, filling the water with hot water

At some point, I said out loud that I wanted to get in the pool. I wasn’t ready to push, but I wanted the sweet relief that the water brings me. So Adam began filling the pool with water. . . and of course, it took longer than expected, because we have had a “birthing pool situation " every time! Apparently some sediment came out of our hot water heater into the pool, then the water pressure was no good, then there wasn’t enough hot water. It just so happened that Adam’s dad had providentially bought a water transfer pump for a project at house house, and still had it in his car.  By God’s good grace, this was exactly what we needed to get the sediment out efficiently and perfectly! 

While this was going on, I really felt like I could sense things progressing along like in the past: contractions got more intense, one on top of another; I felt like I could feel the baby moving down; and then I felt the pressure building slowly to push. But since the labor had been different than the other two, I doubted what I was feeling. Julia, one of the midwives, came to check the baby’s heartbeat at some point close to 5:40 and she said the baby was really low. This was SO encouraging to hear, because it affirmed what I had been feeling! 

At some point close to 5:40, I asked Adam if the pool was ready and he said, “give me 5 minutes.” The water was not quite warm enough, so they poured more hot water that had been boiling on the stove into the pool, and it was ready! I think as this was happening, I said a couple of times, something like “the baby is coming.” “lots of pressure.” “it’s coming.” When Adam heard those words, he was like, “she knows what she’s talking about. When she says that, the baby IS coming” Toni checked me and said there was a little cervix still there, but I was fully dilated and could push if I wanted to. More affirmation!! I made her repeat it because I couldn’t fully believe it. Those are truly some of the best words you can hear during labor. =)

Stepping into that pool of warm water is such sweet relief. No, it doesn’t take the pain away like an epidural, but it just does wonders for me. Everyone was ready and in  position for me to push immediately, but I didn’t feel the urge right away. As soon as I got in the pool, Adam was wanting to find my mom to get Eden in there to watch the baby come out, but I did not. I said something about how we don’t know how long this will take. Even though I did not push for long in the past, this labor has been different, and what if I have to push for a long time? I don’t want her in there for all of that. We had been talking to Eden about the birth and left it up to her if she wanted to watch the baby come out. In the beginning, she wanted to, but then she changed her mind when it got closer and thought it might be scary because I might scream. I was fine with that because, the truth is, I didn’t know how I would be! Adam was encouraging her to be courageous because that’s something we’ve been working on with her. Either way, it didn’t matter, because it didn’t work out for her to conveniently be in there anyway. 

As soon as I got in the pool, the intensity of my contractions relaxed. It was like a contraction would start to come on and then subside. But, I continued to feel pressure building in my bottom which I knew meant I was about to push. This is the first time I was aware enough to feel the pressure building. The other 2 times, it felt like the urge to push just came out of no where. So I sat in the pool for maybe 10 minutes like that. . . .then BOOM, I was pushing. My water had not yet broke, so Toni mentioned something about breaking it if she needed to, or perhaps the baby would come out still in the bag. I thought that would have been cool to see, but just wanted to get the baby out! On the first push, Adam could feel the baby’s head, but he later said that it felt kind of rubbery—this was the bag of water. On the next push, Toni broke my water with her finger and there was a HUGE release of pressure that made me scream out. It was crazy. I think I took a breath or two, but then continued pushing through that contraction. . .  and her head came out. . . so I just kept pushing because I wanted to be done. And then she all was out! And Adam got to catch her!

We put her on my chest—she was very clean and very calm. She looked great and made a couple of little cries so we knew she was fine, but she really didn’t cry much. In the past, I wasn’t really sure what to do with this baby on me but this time I knew to just talk to her and hold her close. I remember thinking, “this has to be one of the best feelings in the world”—the feeling of being done wth labor. Such a relief! 

After about a minute, we lifted her up to see that she was a girl! Needless to say, we were very excited. We were both kind of hoping for another girl. As soon as I saw it was a girl, I immediately asked them to get Eden in there because I knew SHE would be just as excited to have a little sister since that’s what she was hoping for as well. 

My mom had come in the room right after I pushed her out, so she went to get Lala and the kids and they came in to meet their baby sister. It was so sweet. They were both precious. Then we lifted Evangeline up so they could see what she was, Eden thought she was a boy because she saw the umbilical cord first. =) We then cut the cord. I got out of the pool and on to a birth stool where I sat for about a minute, and then delivered the placenta. Yay for gravity! Once I was in the bed, Evangeline nursed a little bit and I got to start dealing with the after-birth pains—whoohoo! And everyone was right—the cramps get worse with each kid! It was pretty horrible. 

Coming to meet the baby! So excited!

Obviously everything went well and we were both safe and healthy. I am beyond grateful for 3 safe, healthy, (and for the most part) quick water births. Evangeline weighed 6 lb 14.5 oz and was 20.25 in. I’m all for those small babies for delivery! 

Some other notes. . . 

We did perineum massages for all 3 pregnancies but we did not do it near as much for this one. I figured I didn’t need it quite as much but also, we were just too busy. I had the tiniest little tear on my perineum but it wasn’t worth doing anything about and I never felt it in recovery. Speaking of recovery "down there”—this was definitely the best and quickest recovery. It seems to get better each time. We did not do any “relaxation practices” this time like we did the other 2 pregnancies and that made me a little nervous going into labor. I didn’t use any of the practices during the first two labors, but I still felt like the practices trained by body how to relax, how to focus on my different body parts, etc. I was nervous that I may go into labor and not remember how to relax and would be too tense. Well it turns out, I did pretty much the same thing I did in the other labors. I would try to relax my body as much as I could but there was only so much I could do. With each intense contraction, I would tell myself, “let it happen. Don’t fight the pain. The pain brings you closer to the baby. Embrace the pain.” I guess that helped. Who knows! I think the speed of active labor is really the key. =)

They put their Big Brother and Big sister capes on after she was born

Our photographer made it on camera!

I am so thankful for my midwives; Jessica’s photography skills and her presence; for Adam and how he just stepped into the labor routine like he was a pro; that our big kids got to be around for the labor and meet her right away; and that we have a another precious little girl!