Beaux's Birth Story

            

Beaux was due on June 27th. He waited the longest of my babies to come into the world. He was also the biggest, but I think that may have been the case no matter when he came. For the second half of pregnancy, when Toni (my midwife) would measure and feel my uterus, she said things like “There is a lot of baby in here!” and “I think this may be your biggest.” That didn’t take much because my biggest thus far was Jack at 7 lbs 2 oz. Jack was 8 days late and still only came because I took castor oil, so who knows how late he would have been naturally! 

For the last few weeks before Beaux came, I was having more “labor-like” contractions about the time I would go to bed many nights. Its normal for me to have a lot of braxton-hicks since the second trimester, but these were a little different than the normal braxton-hicks. Not painful, just more “labor-like.” So I figured one of those nights the contractions would get gradually more intense and turn into real labor in the middle of the night. Labor had started at midnight with Eden. I had awoken at 2:00am with Evangeline having the very beginning of labor contractions. I didn’t really want to have a night time labor because I was SOO exhausted at the end of each day. I didn’t know how I would have energy, but I just assumed thats what would happen. 

I knew I would be late, so I was a host for a couples shower on my due date. That was a nice distraction. On the 4th of July, I was disappointed he had not come. I hadn’t had those ‘night-time’ contractions in a few nights, but that night I had a lot and they were more intense so I thought, “this could be it!” But it turns out, it was just a full moon that brought on contractions, but they were not enough to bring on real labor. The mind-games were getting more intense on July 5th. I was doing all the things during the day to induce labor (except for castor oil), and nothing was working. I thought for sure those night-time contractions would come back Sunday night and I was ready to do whatever I could to keep them coming on instead of sleeping them off. But they did not come. On Monday, the 6th, I had a midwife appointment. I asked her to check my cervix and swipe my membranes. (She does not normally do these things, unless I ask her to.) She also had me do an inversion on the couch and they had me get on my hands and knees to do the rebozo technique—she used a very large scarf-like fabric  to use controlled motions to help move the hips, or sway them from side to side a little bit. This was to help the baby get into the best birthing position in case that was an issue. I don’t think he was in a bad position (my babies have all been head-down, very low, ready-to-go from early on) but who knew—anything that might bring contractions on was welcomed! When she checked me, I was only 2-3 cm and in an anterior position. I knew this didn’t really mean anything as for when labor would begin. 

I was doing all the things to naturally induce labor like daily walks, daily swimming, pelvic rocks and other positions like that, using the birthing ball, clary sage essential oil, nipple stimulation, dates, pineapple, and probably others I’m forgetting.

On the morning of July 8th, I woke up around 2;55am with some light contractions and needing to poop. I took 2 doses of a tincture my midwife had given me called Black & Blue, about 20 minutes apart. I also put Clary Sage on. When my labor with Evangline had stalled out, Toni gave me B&B and it immediately put me into active labor, and baby was born 3 hours later. I had asked her on Monday if that could be effective to get labor going and she said it doesn’t really work that way. But if contractions started coming on, I could try taking it to see if it helps to keep things going. She normally only has women do that when she it there with them, but she felt like it was okay for me to do in this situation. 

I started having contractions that I had to intentionally breath through around 3:30am. They were every 8-10 minutes apart for about 1 minute. I would fall asleep in between them. 

At 6:00am, the contractions were the same intensity but not as long or as frequent. I took another round of B&B at 6:50—4 doses every 5 minutes—and clary sage. But it didn’t work. At 7:55am, contractions seemed to have really slowed down, so I knew I needed to move. I went on a long walk. I had some contractions on the walk but they were not regular— 5 min, 7 min, 11 min, 8 minutes apart. I came home and kept moving in the kitchen—cutting up fruit and such. My mom was in town so she had the kids occupied, thankfully. I would have to lean on the counter during contractions, but then I just kept going like normal after they passed. They began getting closer together and at 10:00am they were more consistently 5 minutes apart, about a minute long, and “real” in intensity. I had to lay down on the couch at this point. I was voxering with friends and trying to stay distracted. I knew I was likely in labor, but it was hard for my mind to fully accept it because I had had so many times were I thought maybe labor was beginning over the last few weeks, and it was nothing. Also, I had stalled out during the day with Evangeline’s labor, so I was nervous that could happen at any point. 

I texted my midwife at this point and gave her the update. The birth center is very close to my house, so she came over to check things out because I told her that would be helpful. Adam was working from home, in and out of the house. My mom and the kids were in and out of the house, doing normal things. 

Toni got there at 11:15ish and checked me. I was 6-7 cm. She said, “we could have this baby in an hour.” I was a little shocked. She asked Adam if he was going to get the pool ready and he was like, “well we weren’t sure if it was time for that.” She said, “If a water birth is important to Juliette, it is time.” So he got busy! Jessica, my sister-in-law and birth photographer, got over here and started setting things up. The midwife assistants came and started setting up. My mother-in-law came over at some point to help with kids. 

It was a very strange/different labor for me in the sense that I never went into “labor-zone” mentally (where I’m totally out-of-it) and my contractions never came one on top of another. The contractions got to be very intense, but as soon as they were over, I was fairly normal, talking, and coherent. Eden, Jack, and Evangeline had their Big sister/brother shirts and capes on and they were helping blow up the pool and fill it with water. They were in and out of my room, like it was a normal day. Evangeline thought she was about to go swimming in my bedroom.

The pool was ready, so Toni checked me once more before I got in. At 12:20 pm, I was 9cm, had an anterior lip, and the bag was bulging. She said they were just waiting for me to feel the urge to push. I got in the pool around 12:22pm. It always feels wonderful getting in there. Contractions definitely slowed down then. It was weird sitting there in silence with everyone just waiting around for me  to need to push and feeling so coherent. After a while, I started to doubt I would know when to push. When a contraction did come, I felt some pressure in my butt which has usually been the sign of pushing, but it wasn’t the uncontrollable kind. And this labor had felt so different, so I was getting nervous. I asked Toni about that and she just said something about how I will know. I then asked if I should maybe move around, because contractions were not coming and I was getting impatient. Here I was at 9 cm, sitting in a birthing pool with a bunch of people waiting for me to push and nothing was happening. I began to lean forward to get on my hands and knees, and just that slightest movement brought on an intense contraction and I could really feel the baby moving. I did not move anymore after that! 

At 12:53, I started to push. I don’t think I had the uncontrollable need to push, like in the past. I felt some sort of urge and I just went with it and chose to push, because I was ready for him to come out! (In the past, I would not have described it as a choice. It just happened. Perhaps this was different because this was my 4th time and I was very familiar with the feeling and felt more in control). At 12:56, he was crowning and at 12:59, he was born! 

Obviously 6 minutes of pushing is ridiculously short and I am very thankful for that! My pushing stage got shorter and shorter each birth, with the longest only being 20 minutes, so I am extremely grateful. This pushing stage felt very different though. (Again, part of it was probably because I was more aware of exactly what was happening than in the past). The pauses in between contractions felt much longer than in the past and I didn’t know what to do with the fact that I could feel him crowning but wasn’t having a contraction to push with, and I felt completely coherent and ready to push him out. I think in the past, the pauses were welcomed because I was so exhausted and out-of-it. I was scared the pauses would be too long, since they had been like that the whole time I was in the pool, and I was nervous about the baby just sitting in the birth canal like that. Then, only half his head came out and I was not having a contraction to push with. This was excruciating. And a little scary. And then I said aloud, “It feels like he’s moving—like he’s trying to crawl out or something!” Turns out, he was probably just rotating. I think I pushed without a contraction and got his head out. I screamed at a few points and also expressed some fear about his head sitting like that and not having a contraction. I think the kids were a little scared/nervous about this. Eden covered her ears at one point from my screaming and Mimi was holding her close. Evangeline was not in the room, but Jack and Eden were straight in front of me, watching Beaux come out. 

At one point, Toni said something like, “Lets stop making those noises and just push the baby out” which is exactly what I needed to hear! I needed to take those high pitched noises and move them down, like I had been doing earlier. I believe I did that really well with Evangeline and Jack’s pushing stage, so I wish the kids could have seen one of those! It wasn’t as worrisome. But, this one was only 6 minutes, so that’s nice! Toni thinks the main reason that this pushing felt different for me was because Beaux was so much bigger than my others. 

I saw his face immediately when they lifted him to my chest and my very first thought was, “Wow, that’s a boy!” He looked like such a little man. Little did everyone know, Adam, the kids, and I already knew he was a boy. We had actually found out about 7 weeks before he was born because Eden really wanted to find out, but we kept it a secret from the family. 

I had more bleeding than the last 2 births because the placenta separated early and it was a very large placenta. I felt pretty weak and extremely tired for a while, I think, because of the bleeding and also because I hadn’t eaten since 7:00am and didn’t eat till about 5:00pm. I did drink a home made laborade throughout labor and that was helpful. 

I was really hoping for a day-labor and I guess I got it! Even though beginning labor started in the middle of the night, I still got some rest at least.  I loved that the kids got to be a part of the labor. Eden had said that she wanted to be around for the labor to help with things but she wasn’t sure she wanted to see me push the baby out because she was a little scared of seeing me like that. Jack didn’t seem to know what he wanted. If I had the baby at night, I had planned to wake Eden up at some point but wasn’t really sure how it would work out. Everyone kept asking me what I was going to do with the kids for the labor and I just kept saying, “I don’t know. We’ll just see how it works out!” And it worked out perfectly! They got to help and see me in labor and then they actually had a front row seat to seeing Beaux enter the world! I’ve been a little worried I may have scarred them because I did scream a bit when pushing him out, and his head just sat there, half way out of me for a minute, but so far, they seem great with it all and Eden says she wants to be a midwife when she grows up. 

Beaux Barry Bechtold was born on 7/8/20 at 12:59pm. He was 8 lb. 4 oz. and 20.5 in. My biggest baby by more than a pound!

I am so incredibly grateful that Toni got to deliver all 4 of my babies. Her expertise, wisdom, and presence is such a gift to our family. I am also so incredibly thankful that Jessica got to be there for all 4 births and document it all on photo and video. I can’t imagine not having these gifts (and her support)! I am so thankful my mom and my mother in law were here for the birth and could help with the kids, otherwise that would have been a true circus! And of course none of this could have happened without Adam, literally nothing! ;) It took 4 births, but we finally got the pool set up without any hitches. He is really a pro at this whole birth thing now. He got the pool set up quickly, he was there for me physically when I needed him, he encouraged me and massaged my back when I needed it, reminded me what I needed to do during pushing, and was truly everything I needed! We have actually joked about him starting a business selling all the things needed for a home water birth because he knows all the random things your need that you wouldn’t think of until you’ve done this several times. 

I’m not kidding at all when I say I feel like I have won the jackpot. What more could I ask for in this life? I really don’t know why, but Jesus has blessed me beyond my understanding and I am immensely grateful. 

Beaux BARRY's namesake