Broken and Faithful

Tuxedo in the closet, gold band in a box
Two days from the altar she went and called the whole thing off
What he thought he wanted, what he got instead
Leaves him broken and grateful

I passed understanding a long, long time ago
And the simple home of systems and answers we all know

I keep wanting you to be fair
But that's not what you said
I want certain answers to these prayers
But that's not what you said

When I get to heaven I'm gonna go find Job
I want to ask a few hard questions, I want to know what he knows
About what it is he wanted and what he got instead
How to be broken and faithful

Staring in the water like Esops foolish dog
I can't help but reflect on what it was I almost lost
What I thought I wanted
And what I got instead

I want to be broken, peaceful, faithful, grateful

These are lyrics from quite possibly my favorite song writer ever, Sara Groves.

How true these words are. How they are the cry, the anthem of my heart!

I truly have "passed understanding" a long time ago. I still have the instinct in me that tries so desperately to understand why things happen the way they do. I still want things to make sense in their neat little boxes. I want explanations. I want a+b=c.

But in my short life, it has become quite apparent to me--that search will be in vain.

We are in a teaching series at church right now about this whole idea.
Believing in a God who is "in the space after the question marks."

About how we tell God, "Fix this! Fix this! But if you're not gonna fix it, at least make sense of it."
And so often, he simply does make sense of it.

What if learned to be more like this song implies?
Broken, yet faithful.
Broken, yet grateful.
Broken, yet peaceful.

Our brokenness does not have to go away.
We do not have to fake it.
I am broken.

The truth is, when we don't get what we wanted and when we don't get what we thought was really good and we really thought it was from God-- well then, we are broken.

But is there a way to be faithful, grateful, and peaceful inside that brokenness?

Is there a way to look at "what we got instead" of what we wanted and be grateful with that? Be peaceful about that?

I believe there is a way.