No boxes, just love.

For some reason, the Lord likes to open my mind up to Him more than usual when I'm at work and supposed to be working on a computer. It is mindless activity and my mind can never slow down, so maybe that's why.

Here are some things He told me to write down yesterday, instead of working....

This is what I'm meant for.
This is abundant life.
Going to sick, dark people, places, and situations and bringing life to where there seems to be little of it.
I have no power over a person's eternal state. Whether they go to heaven or hell.
That is only is God's hands and I am naive and prideful to think that I determine where they go.
Plus, who knows when that time will arise for them. Today or 50 years from now?
But, not only can I, but I am MEANT TO BE Jesus' hands and feet in the current hells that people are living in. Right now.
Today.
This moment that you are reading this.
Literal hells.
Take everything you've learned about hell and try to wrap your head around the fact that people are leaving in that right now-some physically, some mentally, some emotionally, some spiritually. And many people--all of those kinds of hells at once.
Right now. Not only when they die.


And Jesus said to be his hands and feet and be apart of bringing them redemption and salvation.
Salvation: being apart of saving people from their current hells and trusting their eternal states with the Powerful One because you've done all you can by sharing your time, resources, comfort, and love with them. (this is all Jesus said to do. He didn't say you have the power and judgment to send people to heaven or hell eternally.)

Redemption: find the darkness. open your eyes and look for the horrible people, places, and situations. Figure out what would be light to that darkness. Figure out what would be just a piece of making that messed up stuff more whole.

This may be a little more easier (and biblical): figure out what you would want someone to do for you if you were_________. (being forced to have sex with people; being beaten every day; had no opportunity to an education; forced & brainwashed to kill people at the age of 10; had no idea what a mother or a father was; had a deadly disease that ate away your organs so you couldnt help anyone or take care of your family; had no water whatsoever)

Figure out what you would want people to do for you. (this shouldnt be to hard)
Take some time to research what the Body of Christ around the world and right around your town is already doing.
Ask the Lord what he wants you to sacrifice (not talking so much about financially here) to be apart of the Kingdom of salvation and redemption.

Simple.
No rules.
No boxes to fit yourself into.
No boxes to fit Jesus in.
No right answers.

Just ask Him.

Just take some valuable time. Just be open.
Just sacrifice. (ha, "just")
Just be about salvation and redemption.
Those words that have lost meaning because we throw them around so much. (redefine them for yourself if you need to. I had to)

You want abundant/full/intoxicating life?
Stop trying to figure out what seems natural and comfortable and figure out what Jesus talked most about and did the most.
And that will fill you. And intoxicate you.
Do whatever you need to do to figure it out.
Go through the Bible.
Look at Jesus life from different perspectives.
Pray pray pray. Ask the Lord to show us in ways we've never known before.
Research what's going on already.


I simply can not think about the undeserved, unconditional love that my Daddy has poured out on me; I can't think about the people he's used to do that; I can't think about the fact that I kept spitting in his face and turning from him and yet he POURS out grace on me and blesses me and gives me immense joy anyways; I can't think about the redemption/transformation of the way I think, the way I love people, the way i do life, the way I struggle deep, dark things---I can not think about all of that stuff and not feel a beautiful, deep, joyful compulsion to share those same things with people who HAVE NO IDEA they can experience this!

And this is just a bonus:

politics or love
can make you blind or make you see
make you a slave or make you free
but only one does it all

and it’s giving up your life
for the ones you hate the most
it’s giving them your gown
when they’ve taken your clothes

it’s learning to admit
when you’ve had a hand in setting them up
in knocking them down

love is not against the law
love is not against the law

are we defending life
when we just pick and choose
lives acceptable to lose
and which ones to defend

‘cause you cannot choose your friends
but you choose your enemies
and what if they were one
one and the same

could you find a way
to love them both the same
to give them your name

-good ol D. Webb

just read the words

Tonight at the end of light
Tonight, I feel lonely
I thought I heard my heart stop beating
I long for you to hold me

I guess I feel like Eden
The twilight tried it’s best
Tonight I feel good and evil
Against my chest

Would I love you less or better
If I didn’t miss your face?
Read your words like a love letter
Would I have known your grace?

I guess I feel like Eden

Aware of all I am

Tonight I feel good and evil

Against my skin

We’re all homesick
Is love the reason?

My hunger led me to your hope
Until the end of this colder season
Keep us warm

Cause we are always Eden
The day after she fell
We feel good and evil

And choose which one to tell

When all we have is music
You’re a little more like me
We’ve come too far to lose it
This state of imagery

When nothings real and nothings wrong

That’s my favorite part to see
We dance around and we sing our songs

There’s nothing like the wings of an angel

When all the stars are glowing
Wide awake but deep in a dream
Unconscious of any motion

Save for the movement in me

And I know that this will always be
our perfect in-between
so maybe somehow we can help them see

There’s nothing like the wings of an angel

Entranced in sweet obsession
such a complete expression of myself

cause I know where I am planted
deep in a love transcending everything

When all we have is music
You’re a little more like me

I guess I need to choose
But today I am confused and losing ground
Is this part of some plan?
The rise and fall of man?
I can’t be sure

When I’m away from my source of peace
Something fills that space in me

And it feels like I don’t need you

It’s easy to get by
When I don’t even try to find the truth

Today I learned that faith
Is not to be obtained like a place I can go

It’s more of a choice than a feeling
More of a wound than healing

The act of believing in you

But maybe this is where I grow
When I admit that I don’t know

I like to say my college
Is living in this town

Some days what seems hardest
Is simply sticking around

With so much to see
Places that I’ve yet to be

And I like to say my colleague
Is the mother at the store
The man who serves me coffee
And john who lives next door

We all study life
Learning how to make things right

We wanna change the world
We wanna make you proud

But lately I’ve come to learn
That it might start here and now

Cause sometimes I look too hard at the big things
When the best thing I can do is love you

Josue tells me stories about his home down south
His mother can’t cross the border
But he’s trying to get her out
He names a price

And turns so I won’t see him cry

People make me hungry
But people keep me sane

Josue taught me more than a professor could explain
About working hard
And using what I have to do my part

But how do I get to love?
I’ll start unselfishly

Can I hold out my hands?
Do they even belong to me?
How do I get to love?

I guess it starts inside of me

-alli rogers
good words.
they do things to me.
good words to share.

house

Have you ever watched an artist
skillfully craft a work of art
from nothing into something magnificent?
A painting? A drawing?
Canvas white; white as snow
Clean start
He’ll take it wherever he wants to go
Watch closely;
you can never reconstruct those moments,
just like the artist can not reproduce
the exact same piece of art

What about a baby?
Ever watch it develop in the womb?
Then watch as her parents, and the world,
sketch out who she becomes
Mind is white; white as snow
They’ll take her wherever they want to go
Watch closely

But what about an old house?
One with life and character of its own
Stains on the walls and ceilings
Unleveled ground here and there
Filled with dirt and dead bugs
Light switches that no one knows what they turn on
A cubby hole in the wall where the telephone used to go

Ever watch someone come in and find
a use for the old, useless holes?
Ever watch them give the switches a new purpose-
to light up the house?
Watch them clean out the dirt and death?
Watch them make the ground level
so that everything that’s put on it will not topple anymore?
Watch them, not just paint over the stains,
but tear down the sheet rock and put up clean white walls?
Or colorfully painted walls?
Watch closely

Watch the former owner walk around the house
and not recognize a thing
Watch her not even know where to walk
A friend comes in and asks for a tour of the remodeled house
but she can not give one
Then watch closer
As the new owner takes the girl by the hand
and leads her through the house
He shows her all the things he repaired, replaced,
and made completely new
He shows her how to get from room to room
In some rooms, he spends much more time than others,
explaining every detail
When they get to the bottom of the stairs
He says “let’s wait till tomorrow for the upstairs.
I still have more work to do up there.
When I’m done, I’ll show you.
And then, I’ll come back downstairs from time to time
To touch up the things that wear down again.”
Watch the girl.
She looks troubled by the thought of things wearing down again
But he says, “Don’t worry, I bought this old house
for a mighty price.
I can’t leave.
I’ll be around here forever.
And I’ll continue to work on it every day.
You might even stumble upon something new every once in a while.
Just follow me through it and you’ll never get lost again.”

Watch the woman smile
This house was not a white canvas
This house was not a blank slate
But sometimes watching the old and dirty made new
is more magnificent then watching
the “nothing” or the “blank slate” be made into something
Especially when you’re the one inside the house
Keep watching
He’ll be working on that house until it’s a castle




“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of--throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”
-C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

this is the birthday of life

i thank You God for most this amazing day:
for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;
and for everything which is natural
which is infinite
which is
yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;
this is the birthday of life
and love
and wings:
and of
the gay, great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting
touching
hearing
seeing breathing
any-lifted from the
no of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake
and now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
-e.e. cummings

Agapetos II

Continuing on with those thoughts.....God frequently refers to Jesus as “my beloved son with whom I am well pleased.”
And just think about this: once you accept His love and become a child of God, He says that same thing about you.-->“My beloved son/daughter with whom I am well pleased.”

Because remember, we take on Jesus’ clothing of perfectness; his clothing that represents the fact that we are RIGHT/GOOD.
We become just like Him because He is in us.
And we do the things he did.
We love the way he did.
We pray the way he did.
We serve the way he served. (I mean, I guess that is, if we do in fact have Him. If we are truly being filled by His love.)

Just think about what the word ‘beloved’ must mean when God says that about Jesus.
Jesus= part of God; His only son; completely selfless; came to earth not to be served but to serve; the one who restored harmony with God’s creation.

And then, just think about the fact that he refers to YOU as beloved, as well.

αγαπητός means “beloved; dearly loved; worthy of love; only beloved; dear; prized; valued”

Is that not what He sees when he looks at Jesus and at us?
And more importantly, what this really all comes down to is: isn't this definition what WE should think when we look at HIM; our Father; our Creator; our Lover; our Sustainer; our Beauty; our Warrior; our Comfort?

Oh how I need a constant reminder of that! Oh how forgetful we humans are! Oh how adulterous we are! Oh how stupid we are to forget and to fall over and over again!

But, oh, how good He is to be the epitome of patience and to remind us over and over how truly worthy of love he is; how valued and prized he is; how he is our only beloved! And, oh, how I want that constant reminder of who he is minute by minute; how I want that reminder for myself to simply be, and be loved; how I want that reminder to be love to others, because that Love is in me.

When I claimed Jesus’ righteousness, I claimed His love. And what are the only things that he commanded us (I say ‘only’ because everything else falls underneath it)?
He says: Love me with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And love others. Let’s not forget that last part. The disciple, John, says “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar, for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.”

And I also need a reminder of that: To αγαπη others. (αγαπη =agape= love)
Meaning, every time I encounter someone I want to treat them as if they are beloved; dearly loved; worthy of love; only beloved; dear; prized; valued.
Because every single person is loved, prized, worthy of love.
It is only this world that tells us that some people are worthy of love and some aren’t.
It is only this world that tells us that sometimes it is okay to treat others as if they are not valued.
Like when they’ve done something bad to us, right? Or when we’re in a bad mood? Or when they are just a mean person? Or when they are annoying?
Wrong, wrong, and wrong again. Everything we do and say, at all times, should be out of love for that person.
And I suck at this. Big time. But I want to be better. And I want my life to be devoted to becoming better at this. Which is why I think it is worthy of being on me forever.

The beloved John also says “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.”

And that is simply what it is ALL about: when I let myself be loved, I can then, be love.

Its just so simple: Love God. Love people.

Agapetos

αγαπητός

Many of you kind of know the inspiration behind my blog title.

I have a tattoo of the word 'beloved' in Greek on my wrist.
This word means a lot to me.

But I wasn't going just for 'beloved' for the blog title.

I wanted equally as much focus on the words 'be' and 'love.'

'BE' has been a theme for the past year of my life. Just be, people, just be.
Stop trying. Stop thinking so hard. Stop trying to do so much. Just be.
And in being--that is enough.
Obviously, it goes much deeper than that, but that's the general idea.

'LOVE' is (should be) the theme for every moment of my life. It was the theme of Jesus' life.
It is God. Love, people, love.
Love. And be loved.
That's all that it comes down to.
And everything, and i repeat, everything, comes down to loving.

And then there's 'beloved.'

And for that part, I wrote about 5 pages worth of thoughts behind why that word means so much to me.
About a year ago, when I got the tattoo, I wrote it all down so I can remember forever and put it as a 'note' on facebook. If you've read that, then you should definitely skip out on the next 2 posts. If you haven't, and you are interested, feel free to read.

I split it into 2 posts, because we all know that long posts never get fully read, unfortunately.

Here we go......

αγαπητός = “beloved; dearly loved; worthy of love; only beloved; dear; prized; valued”

The idea behind ‘beloved’ was first made real to me when I was reading the ‘The Four Loves’ by C.S. Lewis. In the last chapter, he was talking about true love here on earth and how it is beautiful and how wonderful it is. And how that beauty and magnificence is only a glimpse of the love that God has for us. We can experience this love right now on earth, but we will experience it completely when we are in heaven with Him. And really, we can not even fathom that completeness. Every type of love that we experience right now is just a taste, a slice, a Sam’s- Club- Sample, if you will.

And then Lewis said the quote that, well you know, just went straight to my heart,

“We are then compelled to try to believe, what we cannot yet feel, that God is our true Beloved.”

And it hit me. God. Is. My. True. Beloved.

And no one on this earth can compare. Yes, I might fall in-love with a wonderful man of God. Yes, I might have the bestest friends in the entire world that make it SO easy to love and be loved. Yes, I might have children that I will pour my heart out to.

But none of this compares, nor will it compare, to the love that God is offering to me. Nothing will completely fulfill me. They might fulfill most of me, but not all.

These loves might be perfect and beautiful. And they are perfect and beautiful because it is God who is providing them, to show me glimpses of His love and to draw me closer to it. But on that day that I am in His presence I will know what complete, true, and perfect love is because I will be consumed with its presence.

He will be speaking affirmation into my soul.

Every form of brokenness, pain, and doubt that I have every felt about myself or within myself because of this broken world we live in, will be eradicated. I definitely feel that peace and wholeness that His love gives me right now, here on this earth. But, since I am surrounded by brokenness every day, every where I am, I can not completely escape its side affects. But there will come a day where I will be completely whole, because my TRUE beloved is consuming me with the presence of His love.

Then, Song of Solomon 6:3 was made more real to me: “I am my beloved’s and he is mine.”

After the revelation that I had above, this verse took on a whole new meaning. Maybe one day I will have a human beloved like Solomon and his bride, but maybe not. The beautiful thing is: I am not waiting for that day because I already know who my TRUE beloved is. And I am His! He has claimed me as His own! And He is mine! He has promised to be inside of me and to be with me always, no matter what I do to hurt Him. And I do many things to hurt him. I cheat on him daily. But He has made a covenant with me, promising that I am His forever. It is a glorious thing not to be waiting anxiously for someone to come along and fulfill you, to love you, to be your wildest dreams. It is glorious to be so in love with the One who created and provides and IS that glimpse of love that everyone else is waiting anxiously for.

The revelation continues on. . . . if you look at the word “beloved,” and break it down, you see:
be loved. BE LOVED. Just stop. And
Be.
Loved.

He already loves you. Just the way that you are. Just by being. He loves you.
He loves you for being.
He SO loved us that, even though we are bad and selfish, even though we have broken his laws, even though we are condemned to the penalty of death, for eternity, He decided to cancel our debt. Not only did he say “you do not have to serve your horrible penalty forever. The penalty that you deserve” but he also said, “I will make you completely righteous.”
RIGHTEOUS: justified, innocent, faultless, guiltless.

“I will make you JUST LIKE MY SON WHO IS GOD. And, I will give up my son, because, I love you SO much. I will make Him suffer. I will be SEPERATED from him. For you. Because you are my beloved. And all you have to do is BE loved. Accept this love. Take it. Be it. Do nothing more. Because if you accept it, all I will see when I see you is my son. I see cleanliness. I see perfect. I see righteousness. And yes, you still deserve something much worse, but because I LOVE you so much, I no longer see that which you deserve. So stop trying to wipe it away yourself. And just be. Be loved by me.”

to be continued.

"The Strange, the different, the unintelligible"

"The strange, the different, the unintelligible, the subjective aspect of my neighbor is the garment in which God's grace meets me."

I heard this the other day and found that is simply MUST be shared. Get ready for this:

The strange, the different, the unintelligible...does anyone have someone who fits those categories? When you hear "the strange," someone instantly comes to mind? "The different"-- yep, look up 'different' in the dictionary and so and so's name is written there. "The unintelligible"-- man, there is this person in my life; i dont understand why they do what they do. They drive me crazy. Can someone BE that stupid??

He then says: The strange, the different, the unintelligible, the subjective aspect of my neighbor.....the subjective aspect! Hm that's great, isn't it? It's like--we know how the world works. You do this and then this is supposed to happen. When I say this, they are supposed to say this. But THIS person--they don't know how I've set things up to operate! They keep messing things up and its driving me insane! The subjective aspect of my neighbor--ya know what im talking about? They don't fit in how my world is supposed to work.

He says: The strange, the different, the unintelligible, the subjective aspect of my neighbor is the garment in which God's grace meets me.

This is what Paul's (in Philippians 2) saying: You want to understand God's love? You want to understand God's grace? You want to truly understand what it means for God to have enveloped you in His grace, peace, forgiveness, hope, and light?

Then orient yourself around the strange, the different, the unintelligible, the coworker, the embarrassing relative, the annoying acquaintance, the person who absolutely sends you mad.

Circle around them. And in your frustration of pain of trying to serve and love them well, you will be face to face with what it means for God to have embraced and loved you in all your strangeness, difference, and unintelligibility.

That person who most gets under your skin-- they may in fact be the garment of God's grace that is coming to you to bring you more fully into the love of God.

If I could actually learn to even take one step to encircle the interest of that person, it would be a step closer to understanding more fully what it means for God to love and accept me.

If I could learn to not hold their past against them, and not always holding them accountable for their past. Maybe I could come to understand what it means for God to not hold my past against me.

Maybe if I could take one lap around them with all of their flaws, I would better understand the God who embraces and loves me in spite of all of my flaws.

The other, the one in your midst that most rubs you the wrong way, the strange, the different, the unintelligible, the subjective one that does not fit into how your world operates, may in fact be the grace of God coming to you saying "i drive you nuts. And i am an invitation for you to understand the trinitarian nature of the universe all the more fully, my friend."

We discover respect for each other, not on this ground or that. Paul is not saying, in Phillipians 2, 'respect those who deserve to be respected. Find your peers, the people who get it, and respect them.'
We respect people on NO grounds. Maybe even COUNTER to any grounds. For no reason at all.

It is the most frustrating, maddening dimension of this person that is God's invitation to more fully enter in the grace and peace that God has extended to me.

The claim my neighbor makes on me, on my patience, on my attention, on my consideration, on my love--is the claim of God's grace. The degree to which this person draws out of me and demands of me things that are absolutely infuriating is the claim of God's grace.




This is a sermon by Rob Bell titled "Others." I strongly suggest listening to this podcast. Mars Hill Bible Church. 4/26/08. This was only a few minutes from it, so you can imagine the rest.
Man, can you say convicting?