Sunday, January 30, 2011

Defaults.

(I just felt like continuing this theme of reminiscing on old posts. Here’s one more.)

This may be hard to communicate what I'm actually thinking, but I must try anyways.

Something that has kind of been on my mind/bothering me is:

As Christians, what are our defaults?

For instance:
Is our default to be rich/middle class and minister to that group of people OR be poor and minister to that group of people?

Take the birth control pill OR natural family planning OR condoms OR absolutely nothing?

Live in a nice, safe neighborhood OR not (aka. inner city, in a rural area, the ghetto, etc)?

Send kids to public school OR home school?

Vote republican OR not (aka. democratic, third party, not vote, etc)?

Stay in America because that is where you are and it makes sense OR go somewhere else?

Make money or just don't (just enough to live)?

Buy stuff from the grocery store or make my own food, clothing, etc?

Have al biological babies or adopt?

Go to college or don’t?

I am not saying what is the right choice in ANY of these. In fact, I think all of these options can be the right choice at any given time.

My question is about our default.

There are certain options we choose automatically as our "default.”
It’s our gut instinct. We automatically go there. Every single person as defaults. It is human nature.

After we go to our default, THEN we stop, question, pray, and say, should we be doing something different?

And I am just wondering if our default options look a whole lot more like our society's defaults rather than Jesus' teachings.

I wonder if we can make our defaults look more like a culture of Jesus followers, and THEN we stop, question, pray about if we should do something more like our society.

I’m not saying our society’s defaults are somehow always wrong. But I just wonder if we could flip our defaults and the way we function. Just a little flip. Nothing crazy.

Just some examples I’ve thought about.... which can all be debated about whether or not they should be defaults. But i guess it is how I see it, as of now....

Birth control:
Obviously, I've come to no affirmative conclusion on this given that I am nowhere near making that decision. My thought: Why does it seem to be default that Christian couples just take the pill? Why isn't the thought process more like, 'we're getting married, knowing that we are to fill the earth. That children are a gift from God. And we trust Him to give us that gift whenever--even if we think we're not ready. We trust Him more than our own plans. He knows us better than we know ourselves so let’s let him decide the timing....Okay maybe we have extreme circumstances, so we can't have babies right now and God has made that clear, but we're not going to take something that could possibly abort a baby and/or can mess up my body....Okay we have extreme circumstances, and we've really prayed about it. And we've done a lot of research and we think it works for us to take the pill...."

I'm not saying that 'taking the pill' means you’re not trusting God. Please don't hear me say that. But I just wonder why our default seems to be “just to take it.” Why isn't our default to trust God more and His ways in family, in children, and just in our own personal relationship with him? I guess I just don't think we should be so quick to do things that "everyone else" just does.


Home schooling:
Why is our default just to send our kids away to public school system that raises our kids instead of thinking about how we can train up our kids ourselves in a more full way? How do we think that parents will be able to influence their kids more than the world if the world gets to spend waaaaay more time with them than the parents?
Again, not saying home schooling is for everyone. But I wonder if our default should be for parents to raise and teach their children as much as possible and THEN if it’s just not gonna work for the parents to do that, through lots of praying and thinking, then of course whatever the Lord says goes.


Adopting:
Okay it’s just straight up a command from God to take care of the orphans. I don't know how much more "default"ish you can get from that. Sure, have you own children. But why not follow God's very direct command to take care of the orphans. Not saying everyone is suppose to adopt, but I am saying WAY more Christians should be doing so than they are now. Adopting should be a default, unless God makes it very clear that you shouldn't--through LOTS of prayer and community counsel.


How we consume:
I probably could go off on this one way too long. So I'll just say: we put very, VERY little thought into what we buy, where it came from, what soul made it, how they were treated, how much they were paid, what it took to get that item here, how that item will affect our lives, what that item portrays us as. I think the way Christians buy things and the food they eat should look way different than the rest of society. And that is far from true right now it seems. Maybe our default should be to just consume less unless we know where all our stuff is coming from. Crazy. I know.


Where we live:
What if our default was to practically live like Jesus did (with very little, with the poor, with the outcasts, with the sinners)?
Should my default be to live in a nice, safe neighborhood with people who are just like me? Or should our default be to live with the poor or with the outcasts? Like should we just automatically do that? AND THEN, through lots of prayer and community counsel, if God makes it clear to us to live somewhere else and minister to another group, THEN we go there.
I’m not saying we SHOULD just automatically do it like that. But I really, really contemplate it.
Why not???

I think I want that to be default for my kids. I don't want them to think their default is to live in a perfect, safe, surburbia ministering to upper-middle class white folks. That is totally wonderful if that's what God calls them to. Really, I promise. But I don't want that to be their default.


This does not come as a surprise to any of you that know me, so I don’t feel like I need to clarify too much. I’ll just end it now. =)

Just some thoughts.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Letter from a Birmingham Jail

(the least we can do to remember such an incredible man of God is read this. . . if even over a period of a few days)

16 April 1963

My Dear Fellow Clergymen:

While confined here in the Birmingham city jail, I came across your recent statement calling my present activities “unwise and untimely.” Seldom do I pause to answer criticism of my work and ideas. If I sought to answer all the criticisms that cross my desk, my secretaries would have little time for anything other than such correspondence in the course of the day, and I would have no time for constructive work. But since I feel that you are men of genuine good will and that your criticisms are sincerely set forth, I want to try to answer your statement in what I hope will be patient and reasonable terms.

I think I should indicate why I am here in Birmingham, since you have been influenced by the view which argues against “outsiders coming in.” I have the honor of serving as president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, an organization operating in every southern state, with headquarters in Atlanta, Georgia. We have some eighty five affiliated organizations across the South, and one of them is the Alabama Christian Movement for Human Rights. Frequently we share staff, educational and financial resources with our affiliates. Several months ago the affiliate here in Birmingham asked us to be on call to engage in a nonviolent direct action program if such were deemed necessary. We readily consented, and when the hour came we lived up to our promise. So I, along with several members of my staff, am here because I was invited here. I am here because I have organizational ties here.

But more basically, I am in Birmingham because injustice is here. Just as the prophets of the eighth century B.C. left their villages and carried their “thus saith the Lord” far beyond the boundaries of their home towns, and just as the Apostle Paul left his village of Tarsus and carried the gospel of Jesus Christ to the far corners of the Greco Roman world, so am I compelled to carry the gospel of freedom beyond my own home town. Like Paul, I must constantly respond to the Macedonian call for aid.

Moreover, I am cognizant of the interrelatedness of all communities and states. I cannot sit idly by in Atlanta and not be concerned about what happens in Birmingham. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. Never again can we afford to live with the narrow, provincial “outside agitator” idea. Anyone who lives inside the United States can never be considered an outsider anywhere within its bounds.

You deplore the demonstrations taking place in Birmingham. But your statement, I am sorry to say, fails to express a similar concern for the conditions that brought about the demonstrations. I am sure that none of you would want to rest content with the superficial kind of social analysis that deals merely with effects and does not grapple with underlying causes. It is unfortunate that demonstrations are taking place in Birmingham, but it is even more unfortunate that the city’s white power structure left the Negro community with no alternative.

In any nonviolent campaign there are four basic steps: collection of the facts to determine whether injustices exist; negotiation; self purification; and direct action. We have gone through all these steps in Birmingham. There can be no gainsaying the fact that racial injustice engulfs this community. Birmingham is probably the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States. Its ugly record of brutality is widely known. Negroes have experienced grossly unjust treatment in the courts. There have been more unsolved bombings of Negro homes and churches in Birmingham than in any other city in the nation. These are the hard, brutal facts of the case. On the basis of these conditions, Negro leaders sought to negotiate with the city fathers. But the latter consistently refused to engage in good faith negotiation.

Then, last September, came the opportunity to talk with leaders of Birmingham’s economic community. In the course of the negotiations, certain promises were made by the merchants–for example, to remove the stores’ humiliating racial signs. On the basis of these promises, the Reverend Fred Shuttlesworth and the leaders of the Alabama Christian Movement for Human Rights agreed to a moratorium on all demonstrations. As the weeks and months went by, we realized that we were the victims of a broken promise. A few signs, briefly removed, returned; the others remained. As in so many past experiences, our hopes had been blasted, and the shadow of deep disappointment settled upon us. We had no alternative except to prepare for direct action, whereby we would present our very bodies as a means of laying our case before the conscience of the local and the national community. Mindful of the difficulties involved, we decided to undertake a process of self purification. We began a series of workshops on nonviolence, and we repeatedly asked ourselves: “Are you able to accept blows without retaliating?” “Are you able to endure the ordeal of jail?” We decided to schedule our direct action program for the Easter season, realizing that except for Christmas, this is the main shopping period of the year. Knowing that a strong economic-withdrawal program would be the by product of direct action, we felt that this would be the best time to bring pressure to bear on the merchants for the needed change.

Then it occurred to us that Birmingham’s mayoral election was coming up in March, and we speedily decided to postpone action until after election day. When we discovered that the Commissioner of Public Safety, Eugene “Bull” Connor, had piled up enough votes to be in the run off, we decided again to postpone action until the day after the run off so that the demonstrations could not be used to cloud the issues. Like many others, we waited to see Mr. Connor defeated, and to this end we endured postponement after postponement. Having aided in this community need, we felt that our direct action program could be delayed no longer.

You may well ask: “Why direct action? Why sit ins, marches and so forth? Isn’t negotiation a better path?” You are quite right in calling for negotiation. Indeed, this is the very purpose of direct action. Nonviolent direct action seeks to create such a crisis and foster such a tension that a community which has constantly refused to negotiate is forced to confront the issue. It seeks so to dramatize the issue that it can no longer be ignored. My citing the creation of tension as part of the work of the nonviolent resister may sound rather shocking. But I must confess that I am not afraid of the word “tension.” I have earnestly opposed violent tension, but there is a type of constructive, nonviolent tension which is necessary for growth. Just as Socrates felt that it was necessary to create a tension in the mind so that individuals could rise from the bondage of myths and half truths to the unfettered realm of creative analysis and objective appraisal, so must we see the need for nonviolent gadflies to create the kind of tension in society that will help men rise from the dark depths of prejudice and racism to the majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood. The purpose of our direct action program is to create a situation so crisis packed that it will inevitably open the door to negotiation. I therefore concur with you in your call for negotiation. Too long has our beloved Southland been bogged down in a tragic effort to live in monologue rather than dialogue.

One of the basic points in your statement is that the action that I and my associates have taken in Birmingham is untimely. Some have asked: “Why didn’t you give the new city administration time to act?” The only answer that I can give to this query is that the new Birmingham administration must be prodded about as much as the outgoing one, before it will act. We are sadly mistaken if we feel that the election of Albert Boutwell as mayor will bring the millennium to Birmingham. While Mr. Boutwell is a much more gentle person than Mr. Connor, they are both segregationists, dedicated to maintenance of the status quo. I have hope that Mr. Boutwell will be reasonable enough to see the futility of massive resistance to desegregation. But he will not see this without pressure from devotees of civil rights. My friends, I must say to you that we have not made a single gain in civil rights without determined legal and nonviolent pressure. Lamentably, it is an historical fact that privileged groups seldom give up their privileges voluntarily. Individuals may see the moral light and voluntarily give up their unjust posture; but, as Reinhold Niebuhr has reminded us, groups tend to be more immoral than individuals.

We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was “well timed” in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word “Wait!” It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This “Wait” has almost always meant “Never.” We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that “justice too long delayed is justice denied.”

We have waited for more than 340 years for our constitutional and God given rights. The nations of Asia and Africa are moving with jetlike speed toward gaining political independence, but we still creep at horse and buggy pace toward gaining a cup of coffee at a lunch counter. Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging darts of segregation to say, “Wait.” But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six year old daughter why she can’t go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five year old son who is asking: “Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?”; when you take a cross county drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable corners of your automobile because no motel will accept you; when you are humiliated day in and day out by nagging signs reading “white” and “colored”; when your first name becomes “nigger,” your middle name becomes “boy” (however old you are) and your last name becomes “John,” and your wife and mother are never given the respected title “Mrs.”; when you are harried by day and haunted by night by the fact that you are a Negro, living constantly at tiptoe stance, never quite knowing what to expect next, and are plagued with inner fears and outer resentments; when you are forever fighting a degenerating sense of “nobodiness”–then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait. There comes a time when the cup of endurance runs over, and men are no longer willing to be plunged into the abyss of despair. I hope, sirs, you can understand our legitimate and unavoidable impatience. You express a great deal of anxiety over our willingness to break laws. This is certainly a legitimate concern. Since we so diligently urge people to obey the Supreme Court’s decision of 1954 outlawing segregation in the public schools, at first glance it may seem rather paradoxical for us consciously to break laws. One may well ask: “How can you advocate breaking some laws and obeying others?” The answer lies in the fact that there are two types of laws: just and unjust. I would be the first to advocate obeying just laws. One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that “an unjust law is no law at all.”

Now, what is the difference between the two? How does one determine whether a law is just or unjust? A just law is a man made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law. To put it in the terms of St. Thomas Aquinas: An unjust law is a human law that is not rooted in eternal law and natural law. Any law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust. All segregation statutes are unjust because segregation distorts the soul and damages the personality. It gives the segregator a false sense of superiority and the segregated a false sense of inferiority. Segregation, to use the terminology of the Jewish philosopher Martin Buber, substitutes an “I it” relationship for an “I thou” relationship and ends up relegating persons to the status of things. Hence segregation is not only politically, economically and sociologically unsound, it is morally wrong and sinful. Paul Tillich has said that sin is separation. Is not segregation an existential expression of man’s tragic separation, his awful estrangement, his terrible sinfulness? Thus it is that I can urge men to obey the 1954 decision of the Supreme Court, for it is morally right; and I can urge them to disobey segregation ordinances, for they are morally wrong.

Let us consider a more concrete example of just and unjust laws. An unjust law is a code that a numerical or power majority group compels a minority group to obey but does not make binding on itself. This is difference made legal. By the same token, a just law is a code that a majority compels a minority to follow and that it is willing to follow itself. This is sameness made legal. Let me give another explanation. A law is unjust if it is inflicted on a minority that, as a result of being denied the right to vote, had no part in enacting or devising the law. Who can say that the legislature of Alabama which set up that state’s segregation laws was democratically elected? Throughout Alabama all sorts of devious methods are used to prevent Negroes from becoming registered voters, and there are some counties in which, even though Negroes constitute a majority of the population, not a single Negro is registered. Can any law enacted under such circumstances be considered democratically structured?

Sometimes a law is just on its face and unjust in its application. For instance, I have been arrested on a charge of parading without a permit. Now, there is nothing wrong in having an ordinance which requires a permit for a parade. But such an ordinance becomes unjust when it is used to maintain segregation and to deny citizens the First-Amendment privilege of peaceful assembly and protest.

I hope you are able to see the distinction I am trying to point out. In no sense do I advocate evading or defying the law, as would the rabid segregationist. That would lead to anarchy. One who breaks an unjust law must do so openly, lovingly, and with a willingness to accept the penalty. I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.

Of course, there is nothing new about this kind of civil disobedience. It was evidenced sublimely in the refusal of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego to obey the laws of Nebuchadnezzar, on the ground that a higher moral law was at stake. It was practiced superbly by the early Christians, who were willing to face hungry lions and the excruciating pain of chopping blocks rather than submit to certain unjust laws of the Roman Empire. To a degree, academic freedom is a reality today because Socrates practiced civil disobedience. In our own nation, the Boston Tea Party represented a massive act of civil disobedience.

We should never forget that everything Adolf Hitler did in Germany was “legal” and everything the Hungarian freedom fighters did in Hungary was “illegal.” It was “illegal” to aid and comfort a Jew in Hitler’s Germany. Even so, I am sure that, had I lived in Germany at the time, I would have aided and comforted my Jewish brothers. If today I lived in a Communist country where certain principles dear to the Christian faith are suppressed, I would openly advocate disobeying that country’s antireligious laws.

I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and that when they fail in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress. I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that the present tension in the South is a necessary phase of the transition from an obnoxious negative peace, in which the Negro passively accepted his unjust plight, to a substantive and positive peace, in which all men will respect the dignity and worth of human personality. Actually, we who engage in nonviolent direct action are not the creators of tension. We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already alive. We bring it out in the open, where it can be seen and dealt with. Like a boil that can never be cured so long as it is covered up but must be opened with all its ugliness to the natural medicines of air and light, injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured.

In your statement you assert that our actions, even though peaceful, must be condemned because they precipitate violence. But is this a logical assertion? Isn’t this like condemning a robbed man because his possession of money precipitated the evil act of robbery? Isn’t this like condemning Socrates because his unswerving commitment to truth and his philosophical inquiries precipitated the act by the misguided populace in which they made him drink hemlock? Isn’t this like condemning Jesus because his unique God consciousness and never ceasing devotion to God’s will precipitated the evil act of crucifixion? We must come to see that, as the federal courts have consistently affirmed, it is wrong to urge an individual to cease his efforts to gain his basic constitutional rights because the quest may precipitate violence. Society must protect the robbed and punish the robber. I had also hoped that the white moderate would reject the myth concerning time in relation to the struggle for freedom. I have just received a letter from a white brother in Texas. He writes: “All Christians know that the colored people will receive equal rights eventually, but it is possible that you are in too great a religious hurry. It has taken Christianity almost two thousand years to accomplish what it has. The teachings of Christ take time to come to earth.” Such an attitude stems from a tragic misconception of time, from the strangely irrational notion that there is something in the very flow of time that will inevitably cure all ills. Actually, time itself is neutral; it can be used either destructively or constructively. More and more I feel that the people of ill will have used time much more effectively than have the people of good will. We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co workers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of social stagnation. We must use time creatively, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right. Now is the time to make real the promise of democracy and transform our pending national elegy into a creative psalm of brotherhood. Now is the time to lift our national policy from the quicksand of racial injustice to the solid rock of human dignity.

You speak of our activity in Birmingham as extreme. At first I was rather disappointed that fellow clergymen would see my nonviolent efforts as those of an extremist. I began thinking about the fact that I stand in the middle of two opposing forces in the Negro community. One is a force of complacency, made up in part of Negroes who, as a result of long years of oppression, are so drained of self respect and a sense of “somebodiness” that they have adjusted to segregation; and in part of a few middle-class Negroes who, because of a degree of academic and economic security and because in some ways they profit by segregation, have become insensitive to the problems of the masses. The other force is one of bitterness and hatred, and it comes perilously close to advocating violence. It is expressed in the various black nationalist groups that are springing up across the nation, the largest and best known being Elijah Muhammad’s Muslim movement. Nourished by the Negro’s frustration over the continued existence of racial discrimination, this movement is made up of people who have lost faith in America, who have absolutely repudiated Christianity, and who have concluded that the white man is an incorrigible “devil.”

I have tried to stand between these two forces, saying that we need emulate neither the “do nothingism” of the complacent nor the hatred and despair of the black nationalist. For there is the more excellent way of love and nonviolent protest. I am grateful to God that, through the influence of the Negro church, the way of nonviolence became an integral part of our struggle. If this philosophy had not emerged, by now many streets of the South would, I am convinced, be flowing with blood. And I am further convinced that if our white brothers dismiss as “rabble rousers” and “outside agitators” those of us who employ nonviolent direct action, and if they refuse to support our nonviolent efforts, millions of Negroes will, out of frustration and despair, seek solace and security in black nationalist ideologies–a development that would inevitably lead to a frightening racial nightmare.

Oppressed people cannot remain oppressed forever. The yearning for freedom eventually manifests itself, and that is what has happened to the American Negro. Something within has reminded him of his birthright of freedom, and something without has reminded him that it can be gained. Consciously or unconsciously, he has been caught up by the Zeitgeist, and with his black brothers of Africa and his brown and yellow brothers of Asia, South America and the Caribbean, the United States Negro is moving with a sense of great urgency toward the promised land of racial justice. If one recognizes this vital urge that has engulfed the Negro community, one should readily understand why public demonstrations are taking place. The Negro has many pent up resentments and latent frustrations, and he must release them. So let him march; let him make prayer pilgrimages to the city hall; let him go on freedom rides -and try to understand why he must do so. If his repressed emotions are not released in nonviolent ways, they will seek expression through violence; this is not a threat but a fact of history. So I have not said to my people: “Get rid of your discontent.” Rather, I have tried to say that this normal and healthy discontent can be channeled into the creative outlet of nonviolent direct action. And now this approach is being termed extremist. But though I was initially disappointed at being categorized as an extremist, as I continued to think about the matter I gradually gained a measure of satisfaction from the label. Was not Jesus an extremist for love: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” Was not Amos an extremist for justice: “Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever flowing stream.” Was not Paul an extremist for the Christian gospel: “I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.” Was not Martin Luther an extremist: “Here I stand; I cannot do otherwise, so help me God.” And John Bunyan: “I will stay in jail to the end of my days before I make a butchery of my conscience.” And Abraham Lincoln: “This nation cannot survive half slave and half free.” And Thomas Jefferson: “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal . . .” So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice or for the extension of justice? In that dramatic scene on Calvary’s hill three men were crucified. We must never forget that all three were crucified for the same crime–the crime of extremism. Two were extremists for immorality, and thus fell below their environment. The other, Jesus Christ, was an extremist for love, truth and goodness, and thereby rose above his environment. Perhaps the South, the nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists.

I had hoped that the white moderate would see this need. Perhaps I was too optimistic; perhaps I expected too much. I suppose I should have realized that few members of the oppressor race can understand the deep groans and passionate yearnings of the oppressed race, and still fewer have the vision to see that injustice must be rooted out by strong, persistent and determined action. I am thankful, however, that some of our white brothers in the South have grasped the meaning of this social revolution and committed themselves to it. They are still all too few in quantity, but they are big in quality. Some -such as Ralph McGill, Lillian Smith, Harry Golden, James McBride Dabbs, Ann Braden and Sarah Patton Boyle–have written about our struggle in eloquent and prophetic terms. Others have marched with us down nameless streets of the South. They have languished in filthy, roach infested jails, suffering the abuse and brutality of policemen who view them as “dirty nigger-lovers.” Unlike so many of their moderate brothers and sisters, they have recognized the urgency of the moment and sensed the need for powerful “action” antidotes to combat the disease of segregation. Let me take note of my other major disappointment. I have been so greatly disappointed with the white church and its leadership. Of course, there are some notable exceptions. I am not unmindful of the fact that each of you has taken some significant stands on this issue. I commend you, Reverend Stallings, for your Christian stand on this past Sunday, in welcoming Negroes to your worship service on a nonsegregated basis. I commend the Catholic leaders of this state for integrating Spring Hill College several years ago.

But despite these notable exceptions, I must honestly reiterate that I have been disappointed with the church. I do not say this as one of those negative critics who can always find something wrong with the church. I say this as a minister of the gospel, who loves the church; who was nurtured in its bosom; who has been sustained by its spiritual blessings and who will remain true to it as long as the cord of life shall lengthen.

When I was suddenly catapulted into the leadership of the bus protest in Montgomery, Alabama, a few years ago, I felt we would be supported by the white church. I felt that the white ministers, priests and rabbis of the South would be among our strongest allies. Instead, some have been outright opponents, refusing to understand the freedom movement and misrepresenting its leaders; all too many others have been more cautious than courageous and have remained silent behind the anesthetizing security of stained glass windows.

In spite of my shattered dreams, I came to Birmingham with the hope that the white religious leadership of this community would see the justice of our cause and, with deep moral concern, would serve as the channel through which our just grievances could reach the power structure. I had hoped that each of you would understand. But again I have been disappointed.

I have heard numerous southern religious leaders admonish their worshipers to comply with a desegregation decision because it is the law, but I have longed to hear white ministers declare: “Follow this decree because integration is morally right and because the Negro is your brother.” In the midst of blatant injustices inflicted upon the Negro, I have watched white churchmen stand on the sideline and mouth pious irrelevancies and sanctimonious trivialities. In the midst of a mighty struggle to rid our nation of racial and economic injustice, I have heard many ministers say: “Those are social issues, with which the gospel has no real concern.” And I have watched many churches commit themselves to a completely other worldly religion which makes a strange, un-Biblical distinction between body and soul, between the sacred and the secular.

I have traveled the length and breadth of Alabama, Mississippi and all the other southern states. On sweltering summer days and crisp autumn mornings I have looked at the South’s beautiful churches with their lofty spires pointing heavenward. I have beheld the impressive outlines of her massive religious education buildings. Over and over I have found myself asking: “What kind of people worship here? Who is their God? Where were their voices when the lips of Governor Barnett dripped with words of interposition and nullification? Where were they when Governor Wallace gave a clarion call for defiance and hatred? Where were their voices of support when bruised and weary Negro men and women decided to rise from the dark dungeons of complacency to the bright hills of creative protest?”

Yes, these questions are still in my mind. In deep disappointment I have wept over the laxity of the church. But be assured that my tears have been tears of love. There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love. Yes, I love the church. How could I do otherwise? I am in the rather unique position of being the son, the grandson and the great grandson of preachers. Yes, I see the church as the body of Christ. But, oh! How we have blemished and scarred that body through social neglect and through fear of being nonconformists.

There was a time when the church was very powerful–in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. Whenever the early Christians entered a town, the people in power became disturbed and immediately sought to convict the Christians for being “disturbers of the peace” and “outside agitators.”‘ But the Christians pressed on, in the conviction that they were “a colony of heaven,” called to obey God rather than man. Small in number, they were big in commitment. They were too God-intoxicated to be “astronomically intimidated.” By their effort and example they brought an end to such ancient evils as infanticide and gladiatorial contests. Things are different now. So often the contemporary church is a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound. So often it is an archdefender of the status quo. Far from being disturbed by the presence of the church, the power structure of the average community is consoled by the church’s silent–and often even vocal–sanction of things as they are.

But the judgment of God is upon the church as never before. If today’s church does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it will lose its authenticity, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the twentieth century. Every day I meet young people whose disappointment with the church has turned into outright disgust.

Perhaps I have once again been too optimistic. Is organized religion too inextricably bound to the status quo to save our nation and the world? Perhaps I must turn my faith to the inner spiritual church, the church within the church, as the true ekklesia and the hope of the world. But again I am thankful to God that some noble souls from the ranks of organized religion have broken loose from the paralyzing chains of conformity and joined us as active partners in the struggle for freedom. They have left their secure congregations and walked the streets of Albany, Georgia, with us. They have gone down the highways of the South on tortuous rides for freedom. Yes, they have gone to jail with us. Some have been dismissed from their churches, have lost the support of their bishops and fellow ministers. But they have acted in the faith that right defeated is stronger than evil triumphant. Their witness has been the spiritual salt that has preserved the true meaning of the gospel in these troubled times. They have carved a tunnel of hope through the dark mountain of disappointment. I hope the church as a whole will meet the challenge of this decisive hour. But even if the church does not come to the aid of justice, I have no despair about the future. I have no fear about the outcome of our struggle in Birmingham, even if our motives are at present misunderstood. We will reach the goal of freedom in Birmingham and all over the nation, because the goal of America is freedom. Abused and scorned though we may be, our destiny is tied up with America’s destiny. Before the pilgrims landed at Plymouth, we were here. Before the pen of Jefferson etched the majestic words of the Declaration of Independence across the pages of history, we were here. For more than two centuries our forebears labored in this country without wages; they made cotton king; they built the homes of their masters while suffering gross injustice and shameful humiliation -and yet out of a bottomless vitality they continued to thrive and develop. If the inexpressible cruelties of slavery could not stop us, the opposition we now face will surely fail. We will win our freedom because the sacred heritage of our nation and the eternal will of God are embodied in our echoing demands. Before closing I feel impelled to mention one other point in your statement that has troubled me profoundly. You warmly commended the Birmingham police force for keeping “order” and “preventing violence.” I doubt that you would have so warmly commended the police force if you had seen its dogs sinking their teeth into unarmed, nonviolent Negroes. I doubt that you would so quickly commend the policemen if you were to observe their ugly and inhumane treatment of Negroes here in the city jail; if you were to watch them push and curse old Negro women and young Negro girls; if you were to see them slap and kick old Negro men and young boys; if you were to observe them, as they did on two occasions, refuse to give us food because we wanted to sing our grace together. I cannot join you in your praise of the Birmingham police department.

It is true that the police have exercised a degree of discipline in handling the demonstrators. In this sense they have conducted themselves rather “nonviolently” in public. But for what purpose? To preserve the evil system of segregation. Over the past few years I have consistently preached that nonviolence demands that the means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek. I have tried to make clear that it is wrong to use immoral means to attain moral ends. But now I must affirm that it is just as wrong, or perhaps even more so, to use moral means to preserve immoral ends. Perhaps Mr. Connor and his policemen have been rather nonviolent in public, as was Chief Pritchett in Albany, Georgia, but they have used the moral means of nonviolence to maintain the immoral end of racial injustice. As T. S. Eliot has said: “The last temptation is the greatest treason: To do the right deed for the wrong reason.”

I wish you had commended the Negro sit inners and demonstrators of Birmingham for their sublime courage, their willingness to suffer and their amazing discipline in the midst of great provocation. One day the South will recognize its real heroes. They will be the James Merediths, with the noble sense of purpose that enables them to face jeering and hostile mobs, and with the agonizing loneliness that characterizes the life of the pioneer. They will be old, oppressed, battered Negro women, symbolized in a seventy two year old woman in Montgomery, Alabama, who rose up with a sense of dignity and with her people decided not to ride segregated buses, and who responded with ungrammatical profundity to one who inquired about her weariness: “My feets is tired, but my soul is at rest.” They will be the young high school and college students, the young ministers of the gospel and a host of their elders, courageously and nonviolently sitting in at lunch counters and willingly going to jail for conscience’ sake. One day the South will know that when these disinherited children of God sat down at lunch counters, they were in reality standing up for what is best in the American dream and for the most sacred values in our Judaeo Christian heritage, thereby bringing our nation back to those great wells of democracy which were dug deep by the founding fathers in their formulation of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence.

Never before have I written so long a letter. I’m afraid it is much too long to take your precious time. I can assure you that it would have been much shorter if I had been writing from a comfortable desk, but what else can one do when he is alone in a narrow jail cell, other than write long letters, think long thoughts and pray long prayers?

If I have said anything in this letter that overstates the truth and indicates an unreasonable impatience, I beg you to forgive me. If I have said anything that understates the truth and indicates my having a patience that allows me to settle for anything less than brotherhood, I beg God to forgive me.

I hope this letter finds you strong in the faith. I also hope that circumstances will soon make it possible for me to meet each of you, not as an integrationist or a civil-rights leader but as a fellow clergyman and a Christian brother. Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear drenched communities, and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty.

Yours for the cause of Peace and Brotherhood,

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Lachrymation





(this is a post from a long time ago but I still find it fascinating)

This might possibly be my most random post. ever.

I have been contemplating the phenomenon of crying. (lachrymation)
So strange isn't it?

So strange how our physical body and our emotions are so connected without our mind even being aware of it sometimes?

We can be sitting there, doing or saying something that we think is completely safe, and boom, the tears come. Something was happening in our emotions that our mind was not aware of, but our tear ducts certainly were.

(and keep in mind, our "emotions" are part of our "minds." It’s all so weird.)

And then, even when we put all of our mental and physical power into holding back the tears, sometimes the emotions are so powerful, there is nothing we can do. They just flow. It’s actually a chemical reaction. Man, how I'd like to see those chemicals in action. I want to see the trigger, then another trigger, then the build up, then the mix, then the reaction. And all the while, my mind is doing everything it can to try to stop it....but its too late, the chemicals have been released.
Those emotions are sneaky.

And then, the tear ducts connect to your nose (how does this happen?? or actually, why does it happen??? why the nose??), and it starts flowing.

And then your voice--you know the tremble. Why??

And then, if the emotions are feeling extra confident that day, you feel it in your whole body. A little crunch in the back.


The face contorts. (why so oddly?? why?)

You become weaker.

Your whole body is involved in the process, its harder to breath.


Actually, the loss of breath can happen at any part in the process.


Maybe from shock at what your body is doing? Maybe from overflow of emotions?


Maybe from your nose being stopped up?

Maybe from the fact that your body is focused on the whole crying process that it forgets to do the other functions?

And check this out: "Tears produced during emotional crying have a chemical composition which differs from other types of tears: they contain significantly greater quantities of hormones."

This is interesting because I've heard a proposed theory for why we "feel better" after crying is because of the elimination of hormones associated with stress.

"Crying is a mechanism developed in humans to dispose of this stress hormone when levels grow too high."

We truly are releasing things that NEED to be released!

Isn't is strange, overwhelming, sometimes beautiful, and sometimes really hard, to be in that moment when someone is talking to you, completely normal, and then boom, it hits.
Sometimes we are warned and we can see it building up....but sometimes....sometimes it just comes out and no one, not even the crier herself, is prepared!

And then the tears change everything. Changes the whole conversation. And you know it changes the weight of the words. The minute the tears come--everyone starts listening closer.
How does it have that effect??

And then, for people like me, if you’re listening to someone speak (like an official Speaker I am not conversing with) and they start crying--boom, it triggers something in me and you know the tears are coming for me too. why??? Why do tears have that effect on us?

But then other times, if I'm in conversation with someone, and they start crying, there's no way I'm going to cry--even if I tried. It is like my mind is just too focused on trying to figure out why they are crying, how I can make it better, and how I can be the rock for them at that moment.

Oh lachrymation...you perplex me, yet you are beautiful.
You are your own beast.
You have your own mind.
You mark many moments in our lives.
You communicate great things in our lives.
You bring about immense healing.
You release the negative toxins that need to be released.
You bring light into the darkness.
What an interesting part of the human experience.

Friday, December 17, 2010

YOU ARE NAMED




(this was one of my first real posts ever. I was re-reading it and felt like it was worth reposting just for fun)


-"You memorized the names of the all the stars—how many are there?”

-“What difference does that make? I know their names. I don’t know how many there are. It’s their names that matter.”

“A Namer has to know who people are, and who they are meant to be.”

--A Wind in the Door, by Madeleine L'Engle


One of the truths that I have learned through Madeleine L'Engle is that we, as image bearers of God, have the capacity to Name people; to convey to them who they are, who they are meant to be; to call out the true creation inside of them. To tell them for the first time, or to remind them, that they have been named; that they are known (truly, deeply and intimately); that they are worthy of love, and that they are loved.

And that is precisely how we name them: we love them.

And we all know that we love in many ways.


Sometimes naming them (aka. showing them who they really are) means we use audible words, sometimes we even have to scream it at them;


many times it means forgetting the wrong that they've done and pouring out grace to them, no matter how much it hurts and goes against what we feel is just;


sometimes it means searching inside them to find the good, the lovable (and this can be very hard sometimes) and only thinking about THAT when you think about that person. And only talking about that when we Name that person to others, a.k.a. talk about that person.


sometimes (most times) it means fighting for their identity in intense warfare called prayer.


Most times you can do it in subtle ways-- with the tone of voice you use to talk to that person,


by consistently encouraging their uniqueness indirectly (even when that uniqueness is not you're favorite)


There are many more ways that will come to mind if you stop and think about it.

Our society is in the middle of a tragic identity crises (yes, you could argue that it always has been).


There are "forces" out there that are telling people that they are nothing;

that it doesn't matter what they do or think or feel--just do whatever feels good.

We see some of this is disorders like schizophrenia and depression and bi-poler disorder and many others.

You also see it in the way people TALK about being honest, being fair, loving, etc, YET they dont PRACTICE it themselves--in the corporate world, the political world, the day to day world, in their relationships.


We have different realities of work Bob, bar Bob, internet Bob, family Bob.


And this, I think everyone can relate to-->


We have the person that everyone knows


and then


the "real" self with all her hidden sins, sad thoughts, confusion, and all the other darkness that we hold inside.


So we have to pretend.


Pretend that everything is ok.

Pretend that you are great; that you're not sad, that you didn't do anything wrong, that everything makes sense to you, that you have everything together, that you're not broken.

Pretending implies two realities.

And we get tired of pretending, don't we?

So we choose which one is real to us.

Pretend world vs. Real world.


Real World: Knowing who you are with all the crap that comes along with you

(because you're broken, lets face it, everyone is broken.

Everyone has something dark and ugly.

EV.ERY.ONE.

promise.)


Pretend World: you think that everything is okay;

you think that actually working through the hard stuff inside you is pointless and stupid and painful, so why not just seek ease and pleasure;

you think that you are not connected to anyone else;

you think that you are not connected to the whole world, the whole universe;

you think that you're thoughts and actions do not affect anyone else.

You think that it just doesn't matter.

(this is where, we, as Namers come in. We tell each other and show each other how we really do matter. We remind each other that we were KNOWN before we were conceived. We are KNOWN right now. That we are CONNECTED. That every little thing we do matters. We, as Namers, tell each other what is a lie/what is not real. And we tell each other the real things about our life, about who we are. We tell each other the Truth.)

We can believe "nothing really matters so therefore, I am the only one that matters in this moment."

Or, we can accept what is real.

Take the crap , forfeit the pleasure, but know that the crap is REAL and it can be worked through, because IT IS REAL.


Nothing in pretend world can be worked through. And we know that. . .

No growth = no beauty.

No brokenness= no beauty.

Expose the dark = the light shines through = we see the beauty.

"Reality in its essence is unified; is one.

God is one.

God's work is to unite things that were created to be ONE, but have fallen apart."


-rob bell


Do you live in two realities?

Living in the internal truth AND the external person who's trying to be what you think everyone expects of you.


We sometimes live in that external "reality" to protect us from what is really true.

"The work of the cross is to unite those realities,

so that you don't have to say 'I'm tired of pretending.'"

Because you don't have to pretend.

You can be united, whole, complete.

And that is His beautiful work--He invites people to become one.

To unite you're two realities.

You are known.


"You are created matter. You are part of the great plan, an indispensable part. You are needed; you have your own unique share in the freedom of creation.”


You are fully and completely known by your creator.

And you're creator wants to make you known to everyone you know. Truly known. With all the crap.

If he knows every name of every single batrillionjillon star in our galaxy, don't you think he knows you're name and what that name represents--who. you. truly. are.


When I let that sink in, it is pretty intense.

Let's let him unite our realities.
Let's let him make us one.

Inside and out.

Brokenness to beauty.
Let's let ourselves be known to the universe (aka. other people)


Let's Name each other for who we really are.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Guiltless Shopping!




I sincerely meant to post this before Christmas, as suggestions for Christmas shopping.


I managed to do almost all of my Christmas shopping in a way that I legitimately feel proud of. I may have spent more than if I purchased more easily attainable gifts at Target, World Market, and the Mall, but every single penny was worth it. I planned ahead, shopped on fair-trade online stores, and have been receiving packages every day in the mail!


So fun!




I'm sorry I did not share the wealth with all of you, but this is for the future! Not just for Christmas a whole year from now, but ANY other shopping you need to do throughout the year. You could do all your gift shopping here! And you could do much of your shopping for yourself here!




Wonderful site with a WIDE variety:




Another wonderful site with a WIDE variety:
http://tradeasone.com/


Friends who live in Haiti work with these women:
http://www.haitiancreations.com/






(I do not know if everything on this site is necessarily "fair trade" but most of it is hand made by creative folks in the U.S. and much of it is crafted with recyled products. It is such a fun site for random items!)



This store is wonderful and there are many shops you can actually go into like in Austin, Houston, Dallas
http://www.tenthousandvillages.com/



Great Coffee! You can get set up on a monthly plan to get all your coffee here, or just buy one at a time!




Perfect, cute, fun, sandals! And I can tell you all about my friend who works for them in Uganda!
http://www.ssekodesigns.com/





Those above are all sites that I have purchased from myself so they definitely have my stamp of approval. The below sites just came up when I googled "fair trade shopping." They look wonderful and will look into them in the future.


It's that simple!!!








Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Ev. ery. thing.

I have had many conversations recently about this crazy drive, or urgency, inside of me to “give up everything” and follow Jesus.

Yes, I have been following Jesus for a while now.

But there has been this sense in me from the first day I ever got a glimpse of Jesus that I would one day, really give up everything to follow Him, not just 99%.


Of course that begs the question that everyone asks "What is everything?"

And the answer is different for everyone.


I'll try to give a brief, though not extensive, recap of what I'm referring to for myself. For me it means not being very comfortable. Not living in a "very nice" home. Might not be very "safe." Might not be look very cute and put-together.


Not spending so much time with the people that are just like me, are easy to be around, make me feel really good, and already know the Beautiful Life-giver.


Giving up my dreams and desires.


For me it means going to the "least of these."

It means surrounding myself by the ones that society labels as "not worthy." The ones that are rude. Awkward. Mean. Cracked-out. Stupid. Ignorant. Labeled as dirty, slut, whore, greedy, fat, too-late, annoying, etc.


There are lots of ways the Lord can surround me by these people. I have no specific way in mind that this needs to happen. Just ideas for that I'm trying to live out for today.


But my point of this post is to share an answer a question. . .


The reason why I want to "give up" more and more

is not to get more love from Jesus, but to love the way Jesus loved.


To be more like Jesus.

To follow in his foot steps.

To love in the best way I’ve seen done.

Giving up my self, my desires, my possessions, my time, my everything in order to love others.

Just like Jesus did.


Jesus left the perfect, richest, most comfortable home in existence.

To come to mean, rude, poor, ignorant, greedy, arrogant, selfish human beings.

He left a place where he was completely known, at home, and comfortable to come to the low-income, poor earth where people treated him like crap and he felt very unknown and uncomfortable.


He gave up EVERYTHING

to come and show us love

to shine light into the dark, sad, painful parts of our lives

to meet us in our ignorance and selfishness

to sit and be with us

to hold us

to counsel us

to teach us

to love us


So is it so weird for me to want to do the same thing as the Love of my Life and my Reason for Living?

I just want to follow in his footsteps.


He gave us such a perfect example. Why do we look elsewhere and try to come up with different ideas?


And the second part of my answer to a question. . . .


The bottom line is—I think if I was living in a not-so-great, low-income-area apartment or abandoned house, sharing a room with a friend (or poor country), I would

a) be saving money to give away

b) not living in SO much comfort and therefore not be SO different from the people I’m "ministering" to.


We would be more alike because we would have a more similar lifestyle.

We would share discomforts.

I wouldn’t be so stinkin separated from them as I already am in my color, education, friends, family, and up-bringing.

Living a lifestyle where I give up my material possessions doesn’t make me holier or make God love me more.

All it does is allow me to be better yoked to the “least of these.”

To understand them more.

To break down walls.

To have shared experiences.

To be all things to all people.

To BE more with them and like them.

Just like Jesus did for us when he left heaven and came to this not-so-great, low-income earth.


The house-mom and kids I lived with in Uganda could not have proved this idea more to me.

They drove it home in my heart and no one can convince me otherwise.


They were simply in awe that I "gave up everything" to come and live with them.

They know what I could have been having and doing in America.

As I was washing my clothes and dishes by hand, just like they do, she would stand next to me and stare.

She would say, "The Lord will bless you greatly. You are just like him. You gave up everything--your family, your friends, your washing machines, to come here and live like us. You have shown us great love by this."


Just by being there with them.

And living life like them.


Love.


I couldn't speak their language. They already knew Jesus so its not like I was preaching "the gospel" at them. I wasn't giving them material things.


I just gave up what I had

to live like them and with them.


I must now direct your attention to a woman that expresses some things much better than I.

I could write a whole post about this woman and her blog.


Basically, her family of 6 just moved to Haiti about 6 weeks ago. They were the last people you would expect to do something like this. Really. It was really, really hard for her. And it still is.

Here's some things she wrote on her blog that points to yet another reason I feel so strongly about "giving up everything". . . .


“I am well aware that I'm used to living in absolute luxury. In my old life, if I needed something done, I did it or Aaron did it. He can fix anything. He knows how to do everything. If there's a leak under a sink it will be fixed promptly. If I saw a bug, I had our exterminator's number in my cell phone. We were operating in a world that made sense to us. We could drive. We could buy things. We knew our way around and spoke the same language as everyone else around us.

It was very easy to fool myself in America. America made it easy to hide my shortcomings and sin. When you land on this island it is as if Haiti strips your clothes off. Leaves you standing there naked...all your flaws, cellulite and skin exposed. Every pimple. Every large pore. Every mole. Every weird, why-is-that-there hair...visible. You can't ignore any of it or pretend it's not there.

In some ways I hate it. I hate feeling this eat up with sin. I hate seeing myself for who I really am.

And yet...

I know it's good. I know it's needed. I'm sure one day (not today, but one day) I will look back and thank Haiti and the God who brought us here for giving me the opportunity to see the person behind the layers and layers of falsity...the pounds and pounds of Tammy Faye Baker style makeup I found myself wearing as an American resident.”



I don't want to hide.

I want to do whatever I have to do or go wherever I have to go for the Lord to strip me of my crap.

I want him to dig in.

I don't want to half-ass the stripping down process. I don't want to do it slowly.

I do not want to 'languish behind the prison of the picked fence.

Or wallow in the dead-end of the col-de-sac.'


A little more from Mrs. Hendrick. . .


"All that to say...I don't want to be American in the way I think about following Jesus. I want our family to live for God's Kingdom...to seek it first. I want to wake up every morning aware that this earth is not going to last forever. I want us to imitate Jesus in the way He loved and lived. I don't want to run from suffering and danger. If we have to suffer and we have to live in danger to share the gospel, to feed the poor, to love the orphan and give a voice to the voiceless and the oppressed...then bring it I guess. I say that sheepishly, but I truly want to be able to say it boldly.”


And she says the following after talking about how terrifying it is to not have seat belts in Haiti with her 4 young boys. How hard it is for her to be okay with her boys riding in the back of a pick up truck in such a dangerous country with little to no medical structure.. . .


“See what I mean? In the US driving in a car rarely made me think of Jesus and faith and how much I really believe God is who He says He is. Every moment in Haiti is an adventure that causes a crisis of faith at every turn. Sometimes it's exciting to see what I really believe. My actions always prove what's in my heart. Sometimes seeing what you really believe, instead of just hearing yourself say what you believe is hard and difficult and sad.”


I want to know what's inside of me, Lord.

I want to live in reality--not in what I want to be true.

I don't want there to be doubts and questions.

I just want You to have all of me. No questions about it.

And only because-- You gave me all of you.

And for no other reason.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Jehovah-Jireh

THANK YOU!!!!--From Mama Jane

There simply can not be doubt in my eyes ever again. (If I ever express doubt about the Lord providing, please call it out, because it is absurd)

Ask and you shall receive.

Every. Single. Time.

Thank you to all of you that responded to my request to help Mama Jane and her family.

I received MORE THAN ENOUGH TO COVER ALL OF THEIR EDUCATION!

One family from my church community decided to sponsor Joy through out the rest of her education! All 4 semesters of high school, and probably more! Isn't that incredible?

Raymond got all he needed to finish college.

And then I had $228 extra to send to Alma house to cover their monthly needs!

AND I had even more people wanting to give, but I told them just to wait till next time.

HOLY COW, God is The Provider!

Uncle Francis sent me an email saying, "I told Mama Jane today and she was overwhelmed with joy, she started with smiling so big to laughing to crying and giving thanks to the Lord to you and Adrienne & me. Juliette please let everyone know that Mama Jane is so grateful."

Again, I seriously wish I had videoed her reaction when I gave her money for one semester of Raymond's college--it was unbelievable. These words that Francis sent simply can not do justice to what she must be like right now.

Jesus' provision doesn't REALLY surprise me anymore, but I think there will always be some sort of surprise when seemingly impossible things are made possible right before your eyes.

When I had to raise $4000 to go to Papau New Guinea for a summer, that was impossible to me--the Lord provided in miraculous ways.
When I was extremely stressed about how I would pay off all my school debt and still live a life of freedom and abandonment to Jesus--the Lord provided in an unfortunate way, yet he still provided for all my debt, and then some.
When I was a little doubtful about if I could raise $2000 for Uganda in 6 weeks--the Lord provided in 4 weeks.
When need after need arose before me in Uganda for Alma house and Mama Jane--the Lord provided financially through you and me.

Jehovah-Jireh -- The Lord Will Provide/ God, Our Provider

That was one of the names the Jews referred to God as.

I can tell you that I personally know this Jehovah-Jireh. We have met countless times and I have a feeling this is just the beginning of our relationship.


FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT HELPED SPONSOR: Please email me or mail me a couple of photos of your family. Please write a letter to Joy or Raymond or Alma house or Mama Jane. And if you have kids, they can draw pictures or something. I think this would be a cool way of forming more than a financial relationship. I'm going to ask Uncle Francis to get photos of them, as well as letters, and send to us. If you can do that this week, that would be great!