Regret Nothing

"But this I know: you will regret nothing when you look back, except lack of faith or fortitude or love.

You will never regret having thrown all to the winds in order to follow your Master and Lord.

Nothing will seem too much to have done or suffered, when, in the end, we see Him and the marks of His wounds;

nothing will ever seem enough.

Even the weariness of deferred hope will be forgotten, in the joy that is not of earth. . .

I shall not fear difficulties for you, for I know "it is the very work of grace to transform difficulties into opportunities."
But I shall ask that the greater the difficulty, the more abundant the supply of love may be."

--Amy Carmichael

Amen, Amen, again I say Amen!

I read this passage about a month ago and it dug straight into my heart, causing my soul to scream in inaudible, gut-wrenching words, "Hallelujah, yes, yes yes!"

"nothing will ever be enough."

I may suffer.
Things may not go as I think is best.
I may sacrifice, again, and again, and again.
My good, God-given desires may not come to fruition.
I may lose the people that I love more than anything in the world, by death. By distance. By sin.
I may suffer great physical pain.
I may live in complete discomfort.
I may live fearing for my physical life, daily.
I may feel as though I have a deep, dark hole in my soul and live in emotional pain.

And none of it will ever, ever be enough.
None of it will compare with what He has done for me.

When I read that passage, I just imagined myself kneeling before God himself, Christ himself, in all his glory and splendor and majesty.
Kneeling because my knees have given out.
Kneeling in awe.
And not glory, splendor, and majesty in a far off Queen-of-England-sort-of-way but the glory, splendor, and majesty that my soul will be encapsulated by simply by being in His presence.

The splendor that comes from feeling completely known and at home.
At home.
Having the hole inside me that has cried, since I was a little girl, "to go home," quenched.
Completely loved and adored.
Basking in splendor and majesty.

And then I imagine thinking to myself. . .laughing to myself, actually. . . ."Ha! That was nothing! That life I lived--nothing! I want to give more and more and more!"

So I will keep striving
for more.