Confessions of Comfort

I have another confession.

This one really surprised me.

My first day at the baby home, it was hard for me to really embrace the babies.

Their skin and hair was greasy. Some of their skin had weird things on it. They were not clean and groomed perfectly like the rich, white babies I was used to.

I was weirded-out and upset about the way I felt so distant from them.

Simply because—its not what I was used to. These babies were different. They were not what I was used to cuddling with, touching, rubbing my face against, etc. So I couldn’t just jump right in and embrace them as my own.

I don’t like this about me (most of us, as humans). I don’t like that because something/someone is so different than me and what I’m used to, I do not love/like them as much. I cannot embrace them like I would someone/something that I am simply “used to.”

This is a sad thing about us as humans. It contributes to so much hate, animosity, war, and pain in the world. Just because something is different. Just because we are not used to it. We run away. We jump to conclusions. We act distant and cold.

Sure, we cannot really help our natural reactions. Its just the way it is. BUT we can fight it. We can react naturally, but then quickly become aware of it and change it. We can fight that instinct. We can force ourselves to be around the “different” until it does not become “different” anymore.

I will be the first to admit that it is REALLY hard.

I really experienced this with the Momen kids I’ve hung out with for a few years. They are a family of inner-city, low-income, “ghetto” black kids. There are many things that made them so “different” than me and made me want to run away cause I just didn’t know what to do with it. I also experienced this by going to the “homeless potlucks,” where a bunch of homeless and/or poor people came to the park and a bunch of us non-homeless/poor people brought food and we all just hung out and talked for a while, every weekend. There were SO many times that I just wanted to run away. Not because they were mean, not because they hurt me. Simply because they were SO different and I just didn’t know how to handle it. I felt like I couldn’t relate. I just felt so distant.

But in both these situations, I forced myself to stick around until they became, “not so different.” Until I became used to them. Sure, I wouldn’t say that we are exactly the same now—but they did become “not so different.” I did become used to them.

And it was beautiful.

The same thing happened with the babies. But it only took about 2 days with them. Hah.

Really, after 2 days it was as if I was black or something. I completely got used to them and now I just can’t let go of them. Now I’m like—bring on all the black babies! I’ll embrace all their differences!

(this probably is not true. There are probably still lots of differences ill need to get used to with each individual, but you know what I mean.)