(this doesnt really have to do with the post. . .but it IS some well-behaved children, haha. This is Anita and Carrol doing homework. I LOVE how the kids are always helping each other eevery night with homework. Its beautiful.)
One day Sharif was asking me questions about America and one of them went like this, “In America, do they beat you? Who beats the children?”
After I laughed a little, I figured out that he was asking, “when a child misbehaves at school, do they get spankings?” The English word they use for anything like “hit,” “slap,” “tap,” or “spank,” is “beat.”
This proved to be rather confusing to my mind at first.
I would hear “she beat me.” Or “I’m going to have to beat them.” And I was a little appalled. I soon learned that is the only English word they know for a variety of physical abuses and corrections. =)
I told Sharif that, no, children do not get “beat” at school, but there are some parents who “beat” their children for discipline. Though it was hard for me to even USE this word in reference to disciplining a child with spankings, it was the only way he could understand so I conceded.
So perhaps my hypothesis of why the children are so well-behaved--even under little adult-supervision-- could be correct.
My hypothesis was perhaps it is because they receive spankings for misbehavior. The adults here do not “spare the rod.” Don’t get me wrong, the children are not “beaten” for any misbehavior.
They receive lots of warnings, talking-tos, questions, and explanations for the discipline. And they do not “beat” them in the way in which we understand that word. It is more like spankings and swats. I witnessed it one day from Mama Jane. She gave Anita some slaps on the arm because Anita had hit Christine. Not a “beating,” but I think she learned her lesson. . . .
And Uncle Francis and I have talked a great deal about parenting/disciplining children. He has 177 kids to parent and, from my perspective, he does it well.
He has a lot of wisdom.
So I listen a lot. =)
He knows everything there is to know about every single one of the 177 kids in each home.
It’s amazing.
He said that the first 2 years he was here, he had to do a lot of discipline, and a lot of disciplining with “the rod” (spankings). That is because they were trying to teach these children how to work hard, be obedient, have good hygiene, etc. and these kids were coming from homes that usual did not do much of any of that.
So it took time to teach them. But he said that the past 2 years he has rarely had to do any discipline like that.
The kids learn.
He has lots of conversations about misbehavior—as opposed to “beatings.” And of course there’s the newer kids that take some time, but for the most part, the kids learn what is expected.
One day in the classroom, I was trying to get the kids to be quite and do their work. They would listen for like 3 seconds. Well someone had a stick in their hands so I took it away from them and began carrying it around absent-mindly in my hands.
Well something happened.
The kids actually listened to me when I spoke. They were quite.
They looked at me with much more respect. (possibly fear?)
It took me a second to realize it was because I had a stick in my hands!
And I didn’t even use it or move it around!
Oh and just so you know these kids aren’t perfect: there was an incident one day during recess where some boys were kicking another boy and the teacher yelled at them. And then a little later a boy was hitting another little boy and I had the honor of intervening on that one.
Sorry to all of you that disagree with this kind of discipline for children. Though I have no children of my own to testify for, all of the American and African children that I have met that are disciplined in this manner have led me to believe it is the best. Of course, I do not completely agree with the way I have seen (and heard) these spankings executed, like doing it in front of people, or not explaining it in a loving manner, and sometimes it’s REALLY hard for me to witness, but I agree with the basic principle.
One day Sharif was asking me questions about America and one of them went like this, “In America, do they beat you? Who beats the children?”
After I laughed a little, I figured out that he was asking, “when a child misbehaves at school, do they get spankings?” The English word they use for anything like “hit,” “slap,” “tap,” or “spank,” is “beat.”
This proved to be rather confusing to my mind at first.
I would hear “she beat me.” Or “I’m going to have to beat them.” And I was a little appalled. I soon learned that is the only English word they know for a variety of physical abuses and corrections. =)
I told Sharif that, no, children do not get “beat” at school, but there are some parents who “beat” their children for discipline. Though it was hard for me to even USE this word in reference to disciplining a child with spankings, it was the only way he could understand so I conceded.
So perhaps my hypothesis of why the children are so well-behaved--even under little adult-supervision-- could be correct.
My hypothesis was perhaps it is because they receive spankings for misbehavior. The adults here do not “spare the rod.” Don’t get me wrong, the children are not “beaten” for any misbehavior.
They receive lots of warnings, talking-tos, questions, and explanations for the discipline. And they do not “beat” them in the way in which we understand that word. It is more like spankings and swats. I witnessed it one day from Mama Jane. She gave Anita some slaps on the arm because Anita had hit Christine. Not a “beating,” but I think she learned her lesson. . . .
And Uncle Francis and I have talked a great deal about parenting/disciplining children. He has 177 kids to parent and, from my perspective, he does it well.
He has a lot of wisdom.
So I listen a lot. =)
He knows everything there is to know about every single one of the 177 kids in each home.
It’s amazing.
He said that the first 2 years he was here, he had to do a lot of discipline, and a lot of disciplining with “the rod” (spankings). That is because they were trying to teach these children how to work hard, be obedient, have good hygiene, etc. and these kids were coming from homes that usual did not do much of any of that.
So it took time to teach them. But he said that the past 2 years he has rarely had to do any discipline like that.
The kids learn.
He has lots of conversations about misbehavior—as opposed to “beatings.” And of course there’s the newer kids that take some time, but for the most part, the kids learn what is expected.
One day in the classroom, I was trying to get the kids to be quite and do their work. They would listen for like 3 seconds. Well someone had a stick in their hands so I took it away from them and began carrying it around absent-mindly in my hands.
Well something happened.
The kids actually listened to me when I spoke. They were quite.
They looked at me with much more respect. (possibly fear?)
It took me a second to realize it was because I had a stick in my hands!
And I didn’t even use it or move it around!
Oh and just so you know these kids aren’t perfect: there was an incident one day during recess where some boys were kicking another boy and the teacher yelled at them. And then a little later a boy was hitting another little boy and I had the honor of intervening on that one.
Sorry to all of you that disagree with this kind of discipline for children. Though I have no children of my own to testify for, all of the American and African children that I have met that are disciplined in this manner have led me to believe it is the best. Of course, I do not completely agree with the way I have seen (and heard) these spankings executed, like doing it in front of people, or not explaining it in a loving manner, and sometimes it’s REALLY hard for me to witness, but I agree with the basic principle.
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